Going Home and Thoughts About Love

Afeefa's time here is quickly coming to a close.  Last week we purchased plane tickets to take her home again.  Healing the Children doesn't usually allow host families to take the children back, but because of all of the new therapy and things that Afeefa has been learning that her family needs to keep up with, they have given permission for me to take her back.  I was feeling ok about traveling to Guyana alone this time, but as I lay in bed thinking about it the other night, I realized that I would feel so much better if someone else could come along with me.  I wasn't sure if HTC would approve of another person coming along, and the only person who seemed logical to me is Kristin VanWieren, who accompanied me last time, since she has all of the necessary shots and passport already.  I called HTC and got their permission late on Wednesday, but was told they needed a definite answer by Thursday morning in order to lock in at the fare we had.  So, I called Kristin just before she left for parent-teacher conferences, and having really only one night to work things out----discuss it with her family, get permission from her principal, clear her calendar and figure out child care----everything miraculously came together and she is able to accompany me and Afeefa on our return to Guyana.  We plan to leave on Wednesday, February 29-----only 9 short days away.

This time with Afeefa has been very special.  We've seen marked progress in her use of her eyes as well as her mobility.  We've enjoyed her sweet little voice, her hugs, her laughter, and her affection for each one of us---especially for the kids.  Some of the things we've particularly enjoyed:

*  when she sings along with songs at bedtime----it's amazing how many of them she has memorized!
*  when she tastes a new food and says "Tastes like beef" and everyone laughs!
*  every time Glen prays at meal times, at the  end of the prayer Afeefa says, "Good job!!!"
*  each time we get in our van to go somewhere, she says "We ride in the Mama Bus!"

We've been so blessed by this precious little one.  Though it is a lot of work, we feel so blessed to be able to welcome and love Afeefa as our own.  Yesterday our sermon in church was about love.  All week long we had read chapters about love, and our Sunday service culminated with a sermon tying them all together.  I was remembering the very first time Afeefa came, the very first night, when Afeefa was handed to me and entrusted to our care.  I sat rocking this crying child that I didn't know, feeling overwhelmed and totally inadequate, and I prayed, "Lord, please, help me to love this little one.  She is so sad, so homesick, and she needs a mama to love her, but I don't feel like I can love her that way.  Please, help me to love her with your love."  Over time, God grew His love in my heart to enable me to love Afeefa like one of my own children.  And He not only enabled me to love her, but also Glen and the kids----they've loved her so well, too.  So, I was thinking about love during our sermon yesterday, and particularly about loving Afeefa.  We learned that to say "I love you" is to say "I want to serve you."  I love that definition of love.  It has been hard work to love and serve Afeefa and her family, but because of the love Christ has for us, and for His Spirit in our hearts, we are able to love that way.  I know for sure that in my own sinful, selfish nature, I have no capacity for this sort of serving love, but God has given us a tangible task to teach us to love, and we are so grateful for all that He's taught us through Afeefa and her family in our lives.  Our prayer for them is that when they see our love for Afeefa, they will know it is but a mere reflection of the incomprehensible, MASSIVE love that God has for us and them in Christ Jesus.

Thoughts About Winter, or the Lack Thereof, and "Sweetie"

I am convinced that the unseasonably warm weather of January and the first part of this month has been God's gracious gift to Afeefa.  Even though from the day she arrived here, Afeefa has asked to see pretty snow, I truly believe God knew it would be best to send some milder temps for this hot-climate child to adapt better.  AND, all of our trips to Detroit are finished, and each time, we had sunshine and perfectly clear roads for travel.  I do not think it is a coincidence that the day after our last trip, which was last Thursday, a snow storm came.  Had we been traveling on Friday, it would have made for a miserably long trip.  So, again, I just marvel when I see God's loving care and provision.

And, how wonderful, too, that Afeefa has gotten to "see some pretty snow."  She has gone sledding on our little hill with Rebecca.  She wasn't too sure what to think of it at first, but in the end, was asking for more rides, until the cold got to her.  Her favorite thing, though, is to be outside when it is snowing hard and to catch the snowflakes in her mouth.  Now, whenever we step outside, she opens her mouth, says "Open wide, eat some snow."

This week we began work in our home with a therapist who specializes in mobility and orientation for the visually impaired.  This wonderful woman, Ann, is a retired vision therapist who used to work for GR public schools.  She has graciously offered her time to help Afeefa learn to walk with her special cane, which she tenderly refers to as "Sweetie."  I'm excited about the progress Afeefa is making as she is  learning to navigate better and gain some confidence as she moves about.  It was so exciting to see her walk all the way from our living room to her bedroom, and then to our kitchen with little assistance.  It's hard to believe that she has gone from total blindness to now being able to navigate her way around somewhat independently.  Pray that she'll continue to make good progress, both with mobility and using her eyes in every day tasks.


Thanks to those of you who have donated money to support her medical care and travel expenses.  If you are able to help, you can still donate at any time, just be sure to write "for Afeefa Ally" on the memo line of your check to:

Healing The Children/Michigan-Ohio Chapter
2140 44th St. SE  Ste. 204
Grand Rapids, Mi 49508

Also, we want to thank  all of you who have kept Afeefa, her family, and ours in your prayers.  God is faithful, and we are blessed!


Some recent Afeefa quotes to make you smile:
After tasting any new food, her favorite thing to say is "Tastes like beef."

Afeefa thoroughly enjoys watching the boys' basketball games and cheering for them.  Some of the things she's heard at games have been repeated at various times during any given day:
        *in the bathtub when I wash her quickly, "Good hustle!"
        *to Micah at breakfast, "Shake it off, Micah" (she heard this when he got hurt in a game)
        * at the boys game, she cheers for their team, "Go Hawks!!!" and then the next moment echoes a cheer from parents of the other team with equal enthusiasm, "Go Bucks!!!!"

And, a couple of pictures, too......

                    Looking at blocks and learning to build towers

                                               

                    Some fun in the pretty snow!!!!

 Here, Afeefa and Micah are watching "Baby Einstein"----her favorite.  With my other kids, TV watching was always frowned upon, but  for Afeefa, it's legitimate and good vision therapy!

         Afeefa's first walk around the house using "Sweetie."

How Can I Not Love This Child?

Our time with Afeefa is so busy-----diaper changes, sleepless nights, snotty noses, slooooowwww meal times, therapy, therapy, long trips to Detroit, occasional 2-year-old melt-downs, more therapy, and more sleepless nights.  Sounds pretty horrible, I know----but I wouldn't trade it for the world!  All day long I think to myself, "How can I not love this child?"  When she says out of the blue, "Mama Kori, you are sooooo special," how can I not love her?  When the kids get her laughing so hard that we're all in tears with laughter, I can't help but love her.  When she accomplishes a new task in therapy with so much excitement and raises her arms and says "I'm the champion!"  I have to just love her.  In the quiet moments of singing songs, and when she joins in, singing in her tiny, sweet voice, my heart is warmed, and I am compelled to love her.  It is such an honor to have Afeefa in our home;  it is hard work, for sure.  But just like raising our own children, joy abounds in and through it all.  And I stand amazed at the things I know Afeefa sees when I think back to when we first met her and she had absolutely no vision.  God has been so faithful and so good.

Yesterday we went to Detroit and Afeefa received her long awaited new glasses with elation!  She was so excited to get them.  She ordered pink ones this time;  and yellow ones for her sunglasses.  Both colors really are appropriate for such a cheerful child who truly brings a ray of sunshine wherever she goes.

Last week we had 3 appointments all one long day.  The long and short of her progress is that there has been tremendous healing and significant functional visual improvement in one eye, but not so much in the other.  For that reason, her surgeon really wants to see her back in 9 months.  Some of you have received a FB invitation to sponsor Afeefa, some of you have received a personal note, and some of you are reading this for the first time.  Either way, would you consider giving a financial gift to Healing the Children, with the gift designated for Afeefa Ally?  Because of the on-going nature of the care she needs, it would be great if we could raise some funds so that there aren't excessive HTC resources going to one child and they continue to do the good work they are doing with other children, too.  If you'd be willing to help out, you can make a check to Healing the Children, and you can send it directly to them. Just be sure to designate on the memo that it is for Afeefa Ally.  Here's the pertinent information:

Healing The Children/Michigan-Ohio Chapter
2140 44th St.  SE  Ste. 204
Grand Rapids, Mi 49508

Some More Great Afeefa Quotes for Your Enjoyment
*While sitting at the dinner table, out of the blue:  "I'm telling you, I am discombobulated!" ( a favorite word of hers that the kids taught her)

*Also at the dinner table, commenting on the meal, "This is NOT good!"

*Every time she brings something new up to her eyes to see:  "WOW!!!!"

* She affectionately calls our van the "Mama Bus," and loves to go for rides.

Below are some pictures we thought you'd enjoy:

 Afeefa LOVES playing with the kids!

NEW GLASSES!!!

Here, Afeefa is using her eyes to look at blocks with her new glasses!  This is a big milestone for her!

Afeefa Returns

We decided it might be a good idea to update our blog once again, for those who are praying and interested in knowing how Afeefa is doing.  After much planning, and the amazing ways that God provides, she arrived on this past Monday night, thanks to the work and coordination of Healing the Children, and a very kind airline ambassador escort named Masako, who accompanied her on her multi-stop flight here.

Needless to say, we were all very excited to see her again, as it had been over a year since we brought her home.  I was surprised at the many mixed emotions I felt in anticipation of her arrival-----at moments I was simply excited, also a bit nervous, saddened at the thought of her family having to place her in the arms of someone they didn't know and not knowing for how long....  But, God is so faithful.  He gave Afeefa's family the strength and courage to let her go once again, and daily, He is giving our family the love and strength we need to care for this precious little one.

Next week she has a number of doctor visits, and we are eager to hear what their assessment is of her vision and her healing.

Please, keep her in your prayers as she adjusts to the many changes of being here, and pray for her family who misses her so much.  Also, please  pray for good rest, and the ability to balance everything, while giving her the love and best care that we can.

Thanks!

Some Afeefa Quotes to Make You Smile
"I want to see some beautiful snow"  (repeated to us at least 50 times in the last couple of days----bring on the snow, I say!)

Glen asks Afeefa what she thinks of Mama Kori's ravioli at dinner, and she says---in a very sweet voice, of course---"This is no good!"

The kids are having fun making Afeefa repeat after them.  Our favorite word so far that she says perfectly well:  "Discombobulate"

When a friend brought over fresh baked biscuits, Afeefa took a bite, smiled and said, "This is warm and nice."

When the boys got on the bus the first two mornings, Afeefa cried and said " I want on bus with the boys."
(Today, we went all the way to the bus stop, took a peak into the bus, and no more tears)

My favorite quote of all, which followed lots of crying for home, and came from out of the blue:  "I love you, Mama Kori."  Just what I needed to get through the day.

Ride for Refuge 2011

I haven't posted anything on our blog in a very long time, not because life has gotten dull, but because it has been busy and I haven't felt like I can take the time to just write.  The last few months have been spent preparing once again for the Ride for Refuge.

This year, we had somewhere around 500 riders and raised over $70,000 (we won't get final numbers on any of this until later, and people can still give for a couple of weeks, so the dollar amount will definitely be going up.).  Getting volunteers seemed a little more challenging this year, but God never ceases to amaze me with His provision.  At 4:45 AM on Saturday, people we didn't even know showed up in our garage to help put up ride route signs because they had heard we were short-handed.  Think of that!  Getting up that early on a Saturday morning to lend a helping hand!  On Friday evening the trailer that was loaded with all of the water (2,000 bottles) and gatorade (1500 bottles) broke down, so volunteers loaded up their mini-vans to bring it all to school.  We had planned to just have Randy VanDyke (who owned the trailer) dropped the beverages at the aid stations on Saturday morning, but with his trailer broken, we had to scramble to figure out how to do it.  It turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because we were able to load all of the aid station supplies onto the mini vans, so instead of one person having to drop off at every aid station, the work was divided and much less stressful for everyone.   On Ride day, I was blessed to be able to actually ride my bike for the first time since we started directing this event, thanks to Kristin VanWieren who stepped in and took over my job of sending the riders out.  It was so fun to see the Ride "in action" and to see all of the bikes taking over the streets of Byron Center!

Today, Glen and I are both overly tired and fighting colds, but we are so blessed and humbled to have been used again with this year's ride.  And when we think of the impact that the Ride will have on the lives of Africans, Asians, South Americans, etc..and refugees and vulnerable people right here in our own country, we feel a deep sense of gratitude for having the privilege of making this event happen.  We are praying that if someone else should take over directing the Ride, that God will provide the people, but we are also willing to keep serving in this way as long as we feel called.  God has always been faithful in providing for every single detail to make this happen, and it is really HIS ride, and we give HIM all the glory.

When we have a video of the Ride, we will post it.

Worlds Apart, but Not Really ----Guyana part 3

When we first arrived in Corriverton, the village where Afeefa and her family live, I felt like I was in a daze.  First of all, Kristin and I had been awake for about 25 hours, so we were tired, and besides that, Guyana is so completely unique from anything we've ever experienced, that everything felt surreal.  I was having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that our time of caring for Afeefa was over-----where did the months go so quickly?  I thought about the surgeries, the eye patches, eye drops, arm restraints, long nights up with Afeefa, and somehow it all seemed like a lifetime away.  Even giving her breakfast and lunch in our high chair in our kitchen here before we left on Wednesday seemed like something from another era.  We just felt so far removed from everything.


There were a lot of things that were so different.  I think the first, most obvious, was the temperature.  We arrived from a cold, Fall Michigan day to 90ºF, 80% humidity and sunshine.  This was a nice change, for sure!

The houses were all so different, too.  We noticed right away that they all were built up high on supports;  we learned that this allows for better air flow in the house...  as does the fact of walls not being built all the way up to the ceiling.  This of course, allows for the easy mobility of gekkos from one room to the next, for air movement in the house, and for all sounds to be heard throughout the house.  Every night Kristin and I rehashed our day, often with laughter (we were also a little slap happy since we were so tired!), and then did our Bible reading and prayer together.  Afeefa's aunt mentioned that she enjoyed hearing us each night.  We tend to want to be so private in our culture, but you know, it isn't all bad to have that taken away once in a while.  It forces you to think before you speak, something we all need to work at.  Another notable difference about the houses is that the roofs are made of sheet metal.  When it rained in Guyana (and it did a fair amount, as we were there at the start of their rainy season), it was so loud!  It reminded me of when I was a young girl out in our chicken coop when it would rain on the metal roof;  I really like the sound, and found it to be a soothing part of our trip.  My father-in-law has always said how much he loves to sleep when the rain is hitting the roof;  well, the roofs in Guyana are sure good for that! 

Another aspect of Guyana that made us feel so far removed from all that was familiar was the language.  Now, many of you know that the official language of Guyana is English.  In fact, it is the only English-speaking country in all of South America.  That was one of the things that gave us comfort about going to Guyana---"at least we'll know the language," we told ourselves.  Well, we were perplexed when we couldn't understand anything people were saying!  Afeefa's parents and relatives did a great job of speaking directly to us so that we could understand them, but as far as hearing people speak with each other, it was truly a foreign language.  I would have done better in any one of the Spanish-speaking South American countries!  Anyway, as it turns out, English is indeed the official language, but everyone speaks creolese.  Being somewhat of a linguist, I started to pick up on some of the inflections, such as adding an "uh" sound to the end of words when a response from someone was expected.  One night, Kristin had taken Afeefa's Aunt Shaleeza's seat when she left the room.  Upon her return, Kristin politely asked her, "Would you like your seat back?"  She had to repeat herself many times because Shaleeza was clearly not understanding her.  Then, when Kristin restated it, "Would you like your seat backuh?"  She totally understood.  Language is a funny thing.  It dawned on me, then, that Afeefa was probably dealing with the new language, too.  She had become very accustomed to our American English, and I'm sure the change in language was significant for her as it was for us.

When we were out and about in Guyana, Kristin and I were truly the minority.  We didn't see another fair-skinned, blonde-haired person the whole time we were there. But, strangely, we didn't feel uncomfortable at all.  Afeefa's family was truly warm and hospitable and they made us feel very at ease.  We felt so blessed to be welcomed into their home and to share in their lives directly.  It occurred to me while we were there that our mutual love for Afeefa really gave us a bond even before we met Afeefa's family, so it seemed natural and good to be with them.  Even though we were worlds apart with regard to our culture, surroundings, weather,  faith, food, homes, language, etc...there was a sense of genuine mutual concern and friendship toward one another.  We sensed God's presence and peace the whole time we were there, and we feel like we have truly been blessed by the relationships we were given in Afeefa's family. 

A few pictures for you to enjoy:

Afeefa's house in Corriverton.  Afeefa and her parents live in the bottom, and her Grandma, and uncles and aunts live upstairs.  We stayed upstairs, too.

This is a view looking out of our house.  You can see the black water tank that supplies rain water to all of the houses.  You can also see the sheet metal roofs.

Here I am with Afsana, Afeefa's mom, and Afeefa, of course.  We enjoyed each others' company.

Kristin, me and Afsana by the Corrantine River.  The country of Suriname is on the other side of the river.

Afsana, Afeefa's paternal grandma, who we all called "Mami," and me.  Here, we're enjoying some fresh, cold coconut water.

Not What We Expected----Guyana Part 2

In the days anticipating our trip to Guyana, and on the plane rides, too, I kept imagining what it would be like to share in the reunion of Afeefa with her family.  For myself, I was already grieving the "goodbye" that was soon to happen.  I had watched my kids say goodbye to Afeefa the morning we left, and seeing their tears and their grief definitely triggered the sadness in me, too.  But, I was also feeling a sense of quiet peace and joy, especially when I thought about Afeefa's mom, and the long-awaited reunion that we were about to witness.  I imagined arriving at the airport to Afeefa's family, jubilantly waiting for us. I imagined tears of joy freely flowing, and Afeefa somehow recognizing her mom and happily leaving my arms, and going into the arms of her own dear mother.

(This is a picture Kristin took right before we entered the airport)

Kristin and I had talked about our arrival, and while I had "fanciful" visions of what it could be, I also was keenly aware of how attached Afeefa was to me, so I wasn't sure how things would go.  Nonetheless, we prepared for a great reunion.  Kristin had the camera ready and we hoped to capture the moment on film.
But before the reunion could take place, we had to go through customs and get all of our luggage---which was a lot because we had all of Afeefa's clothes and toys and things for her therapy.  While standing in the customs line, I suddenly realized that I wasn't sure which line to stand in because I had a US passport, but Afeefa's was a Guyanese one.  Just as I began puzzling over which line I should be in, a security guard approached me and Kristin. ( I guess two tall, blonde women with a Guyanese child in tow looked a little suspicious.)  He began to ask all sorts of questions:  "Is this your baby?  Why do you have her?  Where are you going with this baby? How long have you had her?   Does her family know you? etc... Do you know the address to where you are going?"  I could answer all of those questions, but the last.  I didn't bother taking Afeefa's home address with me since I knew her family would be meeting us there.  Apparently my lack of ability to answer that question, however, caused the guard to need to take me and Afeefa out of the customs line, leaving Kristin on her own.

He escorted us out of the airport and said, "Do you see the child's mother?"  No, I didn't see her.  I didn't even really know what she looked like.  After looking around for a minute or two, however, I saw Afeefa's mom come running toward us----yes, this had to be Afeefa's mom.  She seemed excited, but not emotional the way we Americans would be at such a moment.  And Afeefa's response to her and the whole situation was one of fear and not knowing what was happening.  I tried to hand her off to Afeefa's mom, but she held tightly to me.  This was not how I had hoped for this special reunion to take place.  Furthermore, we didn't even get "the moment" on film.  The officer took Afeefa's mom, me and Afeefa back to where our luggage was, and shortly thereafter we were reunited with Kristin (who made it through the customs line on her own with no issues).

Kristin, Afsana (Afeefa's mom), Me and Afeefa, and Abdul (Afeefa's dad)

After gathering our things, we were greeted by an entourage of Afeefa's family members and friends. We gathered together for pictures in front of the airport, and then were on our way to Corriverton, Afeefa's hometown.  Kristin and I were "in the zone," as we hadn't slept in 20-some hours, and the shock from the cold to the sweltering heat, the different language (we expected to hear English, as English is the official language of Guyana, but everyone speaks creolese--very interesting from a linguistic standpoint, but when you're half asleep, somewhat challenging.), and just the whole surreal feeling of the day, made for a long car ride.  I also kept wanting Afeefa to go to her mom or grandma, and they would attempt to hold her, but she just needed me.  Afeefa's mom handled all of this so well----she understood Afeefa's attachment to me and was so good about all of it.  For me, all of it was just a bit overwhelming.  I had mentally prepared myself to stop being the mom the moment we met Afeefa's family, but it was clear that Afeefa needed me to still be her mom for a few more hours before that transition could happen.  And frankly, as much as I felt ready to step back, it was not easy to do. 

I think Kristin was able to enjoy---or at least take in the Guyanese landscape on our ride, but I truly don't remember seeing any of it.  The only thing I have a clear recollection of is the quaint little fruit stand where we stopped and enjoyed our first "real" bananas and coconut water.  Other than that, I was consumed for the whole ride with Afeefa---holding her and contemplating the reality that this was the end of being her "mom."  Several hours after leaving the airport in Georgetown, we arrived---Afeefa was home at last.

Enveloped In God's Promises: Trip to Guyana Part 1

Kristin and I returned home from Guyana late last night.  There is far more to share about our trip than one post can hold.  There is so much to process and I want to relate things well and in a way that is an encouragement to all who read.  So, I decided to write a series of shorter blogs that focus on just one part of our trip.

Before we left for our trip, I was feeling very anxious about everything, and had a particular fear about leaving my family.  Traveling such long distances always prompts questions of life and death----what if the plane crashes?  will the kids be ok?  will Glen be ok?  For whatever reason, I felt more unrest about leaving on this trip than I had on any previous trip.  Perhaps it was just the emotion surrounding the whole ordeal, knowing I would have to ultimately say "goodbye" to Afeefa, and also seeing my own family grieve when they said goodbye.

Wednesday morning before we left went quite quickly as the kids took their time to say goodbye, and I drove them school, then finished up with all that I needed to do here before I could leave.  Before I knew it, it was time to get going.  The very last thing I saw on my way out the door was a note from Joseph's kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Kloostra, that read, "We are working on this verse.  It is God's promise to Jacob AND to us also."  The verse written below it was Genesis 28:15,  "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land."  Wow!  It was the very antidote to the anxiety I was feeling;  a word of hope, a promise from God Himself that everything would be fine.  It was a promise that I grasped and treasured as we set off.

Throughout our flight, things went so smoothly.  Afeefa literally slept or played nicely for nearly the entire flight.  What an answer to prayer!  As we were approaching South America, I began to feel overwhelmed again by feelings of anxiety about my own family back home, about having to bring closure  to what had been a very precious time with Afeefa in our lives.  Then, an amazing thing happened.  I looked out the window of the plane, marveling at the mountains and rain forests below when I saw something unlike anything I've ever seen before.  It was a complete circle rainbow, and right in the center of the rainbow you could see the shadow of our plane.  I rubbed my eyes and did a double take, and sure enough, I really was seeing a circular rainbow with us in the center.  I had Kristin look out at it, too, partly to see if I was really just imagining it, and partly because I knew it wasn't my imagination and I wanted Kristin to see it, too.  We both knew and sensed it was a message to us from God, that He had us totally surrounded, enveloped, encircled;  that He was before us, behind us, beside us, and indeed, within us.  He was assuring us that His Word is true, and His promises are sure, and we would never be alone.  And I thought once again of His promise to me from Genesis:  "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land."

Here we are, back home, safe and sound.  And Afeefa is back in the loving arms of her own family.  But she was on that plane with us, too, and that rainbow also was encircling her.  I pray and believe "He will be with Afeefa and will watch over her wherever she goes, and He will bring her back to this land."  I'm holding on to that promise for her, knowing that next year she will probably need to find a way to come back for testing, and not knowing as of yet how that will happen.  But God does know, and His promises are sure.

My only regret, as I sit here writing this, is that we did not take a picture of that amazing sight so that you could all see it, too.  If any of you is a good artist and would like to attempt to draw it for us, let me know.  I'll give you a more detailed description and you can have fun with it.    :)  If you could just close your eyes, and see yourself, wherever you are, whatever you are going through, in the center of God's Word and in the center of that rainbow, know that His promises are true, and you are not alone.

Three More Days Until Afeefa Goes Home

Wow!  It's hard to believe that three days from now, Kristin VanWieren, Afeefa and I will be on an airplane en route to take Afeefa back to her family in Guyana, South America.  As a Spanish teacher, I've had thoughts of going to South America many times in my life, but I never imagined going to the only English-speaking country on the continent, nor did I imagine I would be going for the purpose of bringing a child that has felt very much like my own back to her home.  

This morning our church had a special time of prayer for the three of us.  A number of our dear friends who have supported, encouraged, and prayed for us these last four months were able to come, which made it extra special.  A lot of people said their final goodbyes to Afeefa this morning----some were much more emotional than I imagined.  It's clear that this precious child has captured many hearts besides our own!

I have begun to pack Afeefa's things and am thinking it will be an interesting adventure to get her and all of her things back home!  We have so many items for her therapy, books that the therapists gave us for her parents to read, some of Afeefa's favorite foods (to hopefully help the transition to go smoothly), and a number of toys and stuffed animals that people have given us along the way.  This weekend, I was particularly touched by a sweet little boy named Connor who gave Afeefa his Build-A-Bear Leopard because he knew that Afeefa could see the spots on him.   I have not ceased to be amazed at how many people are so touched by Afeefa and drawn to her.  

We are all feeling such a mix of emotions as Wednesday is fast approaching.  We're excited for Afeefa's family and for Afeefa that they will soon be reunited.  We are amazed at how far Afeefa has come since she first got here!  Dr. Ference and her therapists at her last check-up were truly amazed at the progress she has made;  her visual field in the weaker eye had even increased slightly.  She is able to see and reach for more unlighted objects, and can see facial expressions and respond to them.  It has been such a blessing to share this little piece of her life and to watch her improve so much!  I truly am eager for her parents to see her progress since she came!  But, we're also very sad.  We have come to love Afeefa as our own family.  Each of the kids has expressed their sadness about her leaving----I know there will be grieving on all of our parts.  But, God who called us to this task promises to provide for all of our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus   (Philippians 4:19).  Thinking back on this whole experience, He provided donated diapers, lighted toys, days of respite, companions for the long trips to and from Detroit, and tons of prayer support through many of you who are reading this.  In His strength, we've sat up at night when Afeefa cried in discomfort after her surgeries and through illnesses and separation anxiety, in His strength, we've changed lots of diapers, given baths, prepared meals, administered medications, driven to Detroit even when we were tired, and done therapy every day.  None of this has been in our own strength---truly, Christ has done in and through us all that we cannot do ourselves.  And the biggest thing of all, and the thing I most feared I would not be able to do, is that He filled our hearts with a deep love for this precious child.  I remember the first night Afeefa was here, I sat with her crying in my arms and just prayed that Jesus would help me to feel His compassion and love for this child and that somehow I would be able to love her like my own.  Indeed, He not only answered that prayer for me, personally, but I've seen my husband and my kids overflow with love toward her, too.  And again, this is not a boasting in ourselves, but rather in Christ, who loves us and fills us and lives His life of love through us.  To Him be the glory!  

So, I am feeling like it is going to be hard to say "goodbye", but I know that God has  promised to meet all of our needs and to accomplish the task to which He called us. Certainly, letting go is also a part of that task, and I know He will do it for us.  I'm sure it will not be without tears and sadness, but I'm convinced that He'll be our Comforter, and that He'll turn our sadness into joy as we celebrate with Afeefa's family her safe return to them, and the miracle of healing and of sight with which He has gifted Afeefa.

Thanks to all of you who have faithfully prayed for CCM, Afeefa, her family, and ours over the last several months.  Please, continue to pray for us as we say our goodbyes, and as we travel.  We leave Wednesday afternoon, and Lord willing, will arrive in Guyana on Thursday morning.  Also, please continue to pray for Afeefa's family----that they may know "how high and deep and wide is the love of Christ" for them, and that their reunion with Afeefa will be sweet.  Pray also for a good transition for Afeefa, and that Kristin and I will be able to teach her family all that they need to know for her therapy.

A few more pictures, just for fun:

                                                     Glen & Afeefa playing the bongos

                                                         Afeefa and me after her bath

                                                        enjoying a beautiful Fall day

                                                     Dr. Ference and therapist Kevin

                                                   Kristin VanWieren and her daughter Sohpie

                                                        Rosemary, one of the volunteer therapists

                                                      One last visit to Beaumont Hospital

Marathon

A couple of shots from the Grand Rapids Marathon

"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus...." Those words from Hebrews have gone through my mind a thousand times on runs over the years, and they did once again during the Grand Rapids Marathon on October 17.

"Let us throw off everything that hinders" Physically, when you run, you don't want to wear more clothes than are necessary because they slow you down. It was interesting to start our run with temperatures in the low 40's-----everyone had long sleeves on at the start, but as the race went on, clothes were strewn all along the course. I kept my long-sleeved shirt on for about 2 1/2 miles, and then as the sweat was coming, I could feel the weight of the heavy cotton against my skin and decided it was time to get it off before it affected my performance. Spiritually, a lot of things can hinder our walk with God, but particularly, I think, those things that are excess---sometimes we take on too many things (who? me? None of you have known me to do that, have you?). It's not that those things are bad in and of themselves, but perhaps they detract from serving, and loving, and communing with God the way we were intended to. Even running can be something that hinders---so can facebook, sewing, reading, watching TV, skiing, working, you name it. As our pastor recently reminded us in a sermon, when God is not at the center of all we do, all that we do can become idolatrous and can hinder our walk (or our run!) with God. So, I threw off my shirt at 2 1/2 miles and considered what other things I might shed in my life for the betterment of my walk with God. 26.2 miles gives you a long time to think about such things.

"...and the sin that so easily entangles...." A lot of things hinder us, and then there is sin. Sin not only hinders us, but it traps us, immobilizes us in a very real sense. If I were tangled in a web of strings or ropes early on in my race, or at any point, I would be totally incapacitated to finish or to even advance from one mile to the next. I would need someone to come alongside me and cut the ropes to set me free from my tangled mess. That is exactly what Christ has done for us. We don't need to keep writhing in the grip of our sin when we have a Savior whose ultimate sacrifice "cut the ropes" for us---we are free to run!

"...and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." It's easy to say that at 3, 5, 10, 13, and even 15 miles in a marathon. For the first half of my marathon I literally felt like I was being carried along by God Himself. I was strong, focused, fast. At 13.1 miles I was on my pace to run a sub-4 hour marathon and to possibly qualify for Boston. But, perseverance....Hip pain, dehydration, depleted calories, sore legs, and ever intensifying hip pain. Now perseverance took on its real meaning. Suddenly, my goal shifted from wanting to qualify for Boston, to simply wanting to finish the race. In my marathon, and in my life, perseverance requires a new kind of focus. It requires prayer. It requires a deep inner strength that only comes from Christ in us. When an unexpected hill (mine around mile 12 felt more like a mountain!), an unexpected loss or pain of some sort enters our life, we are called to persevere. Thankfully, I have a husband who was perceptive enough to realize that I was beginning to feel like giving up. So, he came alongside me (not even wearing running shoes, not even having run in AGES), and ran from mile 15 to 20 with me. He didn't say much, just ran beside me, and occasionally told me I was doing such a good job and he was proud of me. From miles 20-26, another good friend, Jamie, ran alongside me. The first thing she did when we started running was to pray with me, for me. That's what we need in our life race, too. We need the support of our brothers and sisters in Christ to help us persevere, to encourage us to just keep going, to pray for us and with us, to just simply be with us. My kids were the best fans on the whole marathon course----they made posters with Bible verses and encouraging words and cheered like nobody else every time they saw me. That, too, helped me to persevere. How could I not keep running when my daughters sign read: "God got you this far, Mommy, you can do it!" And those are wise words for all of us----God has carried us this far in our walk with Him, let us persevere, even if the road is long and it feels all uphill.

"...keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith." The real goal of any person who runs a marathon is to finish. Every person who finishes a marathon is adorned with a medal (nice big, heavy one in my case), and greeted with hugs, cheers, and a spread of food like you've never seen. Whether you're the first to finish, or the very last, you still get the same reward. So it is in our walk with Jesus. He is our goal. He is our purpose. We journey through this life to make Him look good, in the hopes of one day being with Him. My goal is not to be the first to be with Jesus, but to simply, when this life is over, be with Him and to share in the joy of His Kingdom with all of my brothers and sisters in Christ. We will share in the celebrating together, whether we finished strong, or hobbling along. If I had taken my mind off of my goal at any point during my marathon training or during the race, I certainly would not have finished. If I quit setting my mind on Christ, if I don't seek Him daily receive HIM as my goal, my purpose, my treasure,my Savior, my meaning in life, I will, when this life is over, stop short of the finish line, and I will lose the most important race of my life.

The verses preceding the one I've been thinking about here say, "Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off....." As I approached the finish line of the marathon, for the last 3/10 of mile the street was crammed with people cheering for every runner. Many of the people cheering were runners who had already finished their race. In this verse, the great cloud of witnesses, refers to the saints who have gone before us, who have already finished their life race, and who are urging us to persevere in our walk with God and to keep our eyes on Christ . For me, it was particularly meaningful that my kids ran along with me that final quarter of a mile, and that when I crossed the finish line, they were with me. I imagine my grandparents, great grandparents, and their grandparents, etc... all standing in that cloud of witnesses encouraging me on, and I'm sure they are hoping I will leave the same legacy to my children that they have left to me. I want to finish the race well, but I also really do want my children, all of my loved ones and friends to cross the finish line, too. My prayer is that all of you who are even taking the time to read this will fix your eyes, your heart, and your mind on Jesus, that you'll give Him your life, trust Him to save you from your sin and fill your life with purpose and meaning. I pray that those of you who are not yet running the race of the Christian life will join me, and that one day, we may celebrate at the finish together.

So, did I qualify for Boston? No. Did I break 4 hours? Not even. Did I win (as Joseph truly believed I would!)? Absolutely. And it was all by God's grace, and for His glory--- as is the race of my life.

Afeefa Update---Preparing to Go Home

It has been a while since I've updated our blog, and SO much has happened that I might have to update in a couple of entries.

Many of you have been asking for updates on Afeefa, so I'll start with her. We are so incredibly thankful for how God continues to work all things for His glory and how He continues to care for Afeefa and for us. We have seen this throughout Afeefa's time here, but most recently in the provision of a respite family, the Trumbulls. We weren't necessarily feeling the need for a break, but we were given a week without Afeefa while she stayed at the Trumbulls, and it really turned out to be a time of blessing and refreshing for our family. Not only that, we feel like God has given us new friends in in the Trumbull family, and we feel truly blessed.

As many of you know, Dr. Trese saw Afeefa for one last time on October 5.

I want to add here, that I continue to be amazed that Children's Circle Mission was able to find the doctors and team of therapists that they have found for Afeefa. Most of you are not aware that at almost every single visit we had to Dr. Trese, he was being trailed by other doctors from all over the world who had come to learn from him. At each visit I also met people who had come from New York, Alabama, Ohio, Georgia----all of them saying the same, that he is truly the best. I recently did a google search and saw rave reviews of him from people from literally all around the world. Afeefa could not possibly have had better care than Dr Trese has been able to give her. I asked Lita (from CCM) how she even found him, and she pretty much just said it was God's leading. So, we just give Him thanks that Afeefa has had such good care. In addition, the optometrist who tested and fitted Afeefa for her glasses is one of the only people at least in this part of the country who specializes in care for low vision infants. And her therapists there are also top notch. So, I just want to share this because as our time with Afeefa comes to a close, it's just good to reflect on all of the amazing pieces on this journey, and the team of doctors and therapists has certainly been a big part of it all.

With that said, at Afeefa's last appointment with Dr. Trese, he was amazed at her progress and encouraged us to arrange for her return home and to encourage her family to find an ophthalmologist in Guyana who could carry on with her long-term care. He is very confident that he has done all he can, and that Afeefa is ready for this next step in her journey.

In preparing for her return home, again I just see how God is providing for her. One of the biggest long-term needs she has are for regular testing for glaucoma, as she is at a high risk for this disease; Afeefa's mom informed me on Friday that she was able to connect with a doctor in Georgetown, Guyana who is able and willing to do these tests. We are so thankful that she has made this connection and that Afeefa will have someone to keep an eye on her over the next years. Dr. Trese has also offered to be available should they ever have questions or need guidance, so it seems that things are in place for a good future for Afeefa.

Her second big long-term need is for continuing therapy. We had hoped there would be some way for Afeefa's mom to come here and learn everything, but that is just such a complicated thing because of how strict the US is regarding visas. So, at a meeting we had with CCM, they agreed that the best thing for Afeefa would be for me to bring her back to her mom and to spend a couple of days teaching her all that I have learned. Kevin, one of Afeefa's therapists, had explained to us that Afeefa's surgery is what gave her the potential for sight, and that the therapy that is done over the next 3-5 years will ultimately determine how much sight she gains. So, the therapy piece is crucial for her mom to learn. My neighbor Nadean has graciously offered to help me produce a teaching DVD, as well----if you ever need anyone to make videos for you, let me know and I'll connect you to her (this is her business). Also, I was able to coordinate a meeting with two retired vision therapists who have specialized for 30 years with low vision infants and children; they will meet us at Afeefa's final check-up with the therapist in Detroit, and have agreed to be video-taped for the teaching DVD. I feel like God is pulling all of the pieces together for Afeefa to have long-term success.

Not only that, we just see her improving with her eyes all of the time. She can focus longer on things for therapy, she keeps her head up almost all the time, keeps her glasses on more of the time than not----all of these are the signs the doctors have told us to look for as indication of improved vision. She also likes to play peek-a-boo, which is a pretty significant development, too. So, God is good. He is faithful 100%, and though we are very sad at the thought of Afeefa going home, we have peace and joy knowing that she will get good care and be reunited with her family.

I have a plane ticket to take Afeefa home on November 17, and to return on November 22. There are a lot of details that need to come together before this time, so please, keep us in your prayers. Lord willing, I will have four days to teach as much as I can to Afeefa's family, and to hopefully help Afeefa transition back to her family. As many of you have observed, Afeefa has become very attached to us---and we to her---so we would appreciate your prayers for her to bond and reconnect well with her own family. The nurses at our pediatrician's office shared with us that it's good that she is able to go back now, as reattachment to her own family would become more difficult the longer she stays (I know that this is true, but I think they mostly shared it to make me feel better about her leaving). So, we are all sad, but we rejoice at the success of this whole journey for Afeefa. The whole experience has taught us so much, and it has been a tremendous joy to care for her----money could never buy the joy that this has given us, and there aren't words to express it.

I'll attach of couple of recent pictures for your viewing enjoyment! Thanks for your continued prayers!

Afeefa Update, Ride for Refuge 2010, and Marathon Dreams

I thought some of you might like to see Afeefa "in action." Each day, part of her therapy involves encouraging her to reach for what she is seeing. When she first started, she would sometimes not reach at all, and when she did, she was way off and would miss the ball by several inches. You can see that she is progressing well! In fact, yesterday she had a final visit with Dr. Trese who did her surgery. He was very pleased with her progress, with her healing, as well as her ability to focus and track with a light. He believes that medically, she is ready to return home. No date has been set yet, but we do know that she is well enough to return to her family, and for that we praise God! I want to thank all of you who have been praying for Afeefa, her family, and ours during these months. Please, continue to pray for Afeefa as she will need to continue with her therapy for the next years; pray that her family will be able to learn all that they need to do to care for her, that they will find a good opthamologist in Guyana, and that they will have peace during the remainder of Afeefa's time here. Pray for strength for our family, too, and that I'll be able to do the therapy she needs each day.

Last Saturday, 5-6 months of work culminated in the Grand Rapids Ride for Refuge. We had a beautiful day---a little cold and windy, but no rain! An estimated 600 riders and 150-200 volunteers came together to make this year's ride a huge success. I have heard so many wonderful words of encouragement from many of you, and want you to know how much we appreciate it. We have truly been running on "fumes"---very few hours of sleep and countless details to work out; your kind words, and especially your participation, either by being there, or by sponsoring riders, has made our months of work worth it. Someone asked if we get paid to organize and direct the Ride for Refuge, so I'll answer here---no, we don't get paid---at least not in cash. Our payment was what we saw on Saturday---a community pulling together with one focus and aim, to glorify God and to share Christ's compassion with hurting people all around the world. No amount of money could give us what we have received in joy doing this. So, thanks to you all who were a part of the Ride in one way or another. To God be the glory!

Many of you are aware also of the seemingly insane undertaking oftraining for the Grand Rapids Marathon since May. In actuality, for all of you who think we are crazy, you need to know, that my running time has been my only alone time since the kids were born, and if I didn't do it, I would be insane. It gives me time to pray, to think, to enjoy the world around me, and to take care of my sometimes frail body. Anyway, I have a little paper I wrote in 4th grade about my dream to run the Boston Marathon (of course, at the time, I didn't know you had to qualify with a rediculously fast marathon time!), and for years I have wanted to try. After completing the Riverbank 25k in May, I decided this was the year to try. All of my training has gone well, and I have even felt that qualifying for Boston isn't a totally unrealistic goal----until I recently was injured because of switching into the wrong shoes and ended up not doing my last long run and taking 2 full weeks off of running. I have been very discouraged about it because it has been a huge time committment for me (many 4:30AM Saturdays and lonely, long miles!), my family, and the friends who have helped me to do this. Many of you have been praying that I'll still be able to do the marathon, and as of this morning, I think I'm still going to try (my new goal is just to finish). I was able to complete an 8-mile run with little pain on Sunday (thanks, Jamie, for running with me!), and early this morning, I was able to run 12 miles with no pain! I can only give God the praise for the healing I've experienced, and I think it's appropriate that I am not at my best right now training-wise, because if I am able to complete the marathon on October 17, there will be no doubt that it was by God's hand and grace and I won't be able to take any of the credit. I'll keep you posted as to how it goes.

I think this blog entry has gotten lengthy enough, and some of you probably won't even read the whole thing, so I'll end it here.

2009 Grand Rapids Ride Video

I couldn't figure out how to get this on my previous post, so if you'd like to see last year's ride slide show, here it is.

And don't forget, it isn't too late to sign up for this year's Ride, which is taking place this Saturday, October 2 at Byron Center Christian Middle School. You can sign up or sponsor a rider at www.rideforrefuge.org.

Ride for Refuge

Most of you are aware that Glen and I are the organizers of the Grand Rapids area Ride for Refuge. This Saturday, October 2, our months of planning will culminate with the actual bike ride taking place. We're anticipating more riders than last year (we had over 500 last year on a rainy Saturday), and hoping to raise $100,000 for ministries that serve the most vulnerable, exploited, and displaced people's of the world. The we have more than 60 ride teams signed up, and more than 20 different organizations participating----the funds for the ride will help disaster relief and world hunger around the globe, orphanages and refugees in several african countries, and homeless people right here in Grand Rapids, just to give you a sense of the scope of impact this year's ride could have.

It is not too late to sign up to ride, and it is certainly not too late to sponsor a rider if you haven't already done so. Go to http://www.rideforrefuge.org/ to sign up (you can join my team, or Rebecca, Micah, or Caleb's teams), or to give.

Please, keep the whole event in your prayers---that it will be more than a bike ride, that it will be meaningful for all those who participate, and that the funds raised will make a lasting impact across the globe for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Glasses!

(The kids think Afeefa looks like a rock star with her new glasses; I think she's just precious.)

Afeefa and I made the trek to Detroit once again today, this time for therapy and.... glasses!!! I'm so thankful that Grandma Lois could come with us today---she did a great job of entertaining Afeefa while I drove. Thanks, Grandma Lois! Afeefa continues to progress---some days more than others----and it is exciting to see how far she has come. She reached for a ball today, and also for a green and a blue M & M on her tray. Keep praying for complete healing, for patience and time for me to do the therapy with her each day, and for her family who must miss her so much. Yesterday in church it seemed like every song was about how God gives sight to the blind----I'll never hear those songs the same again after having spent these months with Afeefa. Our God is a God who heals!

A couple more pictures:

Afeefa is sitting and playing very well now, and she is getting very close to crawling!

Amazing Progress

There have been a lot of changes for Afeefa since I last posted. We are all VERY happy that she no longer has to sleep in the carseat and can now enjoy sleeping in the crib again. She is allowed to lay and roll around on the floor, and also does not have to wear patches anymore! Wonderful steps in the right directions!

On Monday of this week, Afeefa had an appointment in Detroit with a new eye doctor and two therapists. She was tested and fitted for glasses, which we will be getting next week. It was quite an amazing day for a lot of reasons. First, I couldn't find anyone to ride with me, so I decided to let Rebecca miss a day of school to come along. It was such a blessing to spend the day with her, and I know we both learned a lot about the miracle of sight---how intricately God has created the human eye, and also, that without the nerves to the brain, rods and cones all working, they eye can't do anything. We watched in amazement as Afeefa was tested; she responds to red and yellow lights, she is able to see black and white lines, and reached for lights and a light-up ball. Through the testing they did, the doctor was able to make a sort-of map of Afeefa's field of vision for each eye. They were all amazed, given her age and the fact that her retinopathy was stage 5, at how large her field of vision is. Dr. Ferens was very excited about her visual responses during the exam, and also about her potential for sight. We learned that the vision therapy is absolutely crucial to Afeefa's being able to really see. She will need to spend 2 hours a day for the next couple of years at least, to do therapy which will stimulate the brain in such a way that it learns to process all of the new visual input she is receiving. I left there feeling very overwhelmed by all of the information that was shared, the books that they gave me to read, and at the thought of how I will fit 2 more hours into my days. As I was praying about it yesterday, though, God reassured me that He doesn't call us to do things that He doesn't intend to equip us to do---so I'm trusting Him to enable me to do this. And, I'm trusting that He'll provide the best possible way for Afeefa's mom to learn all of the techniques she will need to continue this when Afeefa goes home. Today as I worked with Afeefa, I was just amazed that she is actually able to see at all---what a gift, and what a miracle! She very excitedly reached for the red lights I was using with her today, which is so cool to see! Her left eye is definitely her stronger eye, and she would really prefer to not have to do the exercises with the right one. But, hopefully, as she gets used to it, her right eye will get stronger and she'll not fight so much when I work with that eye.

A friend of ours was over yesterday who hadn't seen Afeefa since she first came here. He could hardly believe that she was the same child who had her eyes closed all the time and her head down. She is now sitting up and playing a lot, with her head up and her eyes wide opened and looking around the room. When she's not sitting, she's either rolling around the room or trying to crawl---I think she'll be crawling very soon. She laughs a lot, babbles a lot, and occassionally, she says "All done" after her eye drops. In one of the books I was reading from the doctor about children with retinopathy of prematurity, it described the developmental stages of these children in comparison to sighted children (did you know that babies learn 80% of what they learn through their sense of sight?). Typically, children like Afeefa experience a lot of prolonged delays. Afeefa, too, is somewhat delayed in some areas, but the therapist told me that she honestly couldn't believe how minimal her delays are compared to other children she has worked with over the course of her 30-year career. She was so hopeful and encouraging about all of the things that Afeefa will one day be able to do if she gets the proper care and therapy now and when she goes home. So, we will do our best while she's here, to hopefully give her a good start on this journey of seeing.

(Here are some pictures of Afeefa so you can see her wonderful progress. She's trying to crawl in the last one, and enjoying the ability to sit alone in the others).