Worlds Apart, but Not Really ----Guyana part 3

When we first arrived in Corriverton, the village where Afeefa and her family live, I felt like I was in a daze.  First of all, Kristin and I had been awake for about 25 hours, so we were tired, and besides that, Guyana is so completely unique from anything we've ever experienced, that everything felt surreal.  I was having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that our time of caring for Afeefa was over-----where did the months go so quickly?  I thought about the surgeries, the eye patches, eye drops, arm restraints, long nights up with Afeefa, and somehow it all seemed like a lifetime away.  Even giving her breakfast and lunch in our high chair in our kitchen here before we left on Wednesday seemed like something from another era.  We just felt so far removed from everything.


There were a lot of things that were so different.  I think the first, most obvious, was the temperature.  We arrived from a cold, Fall Michigan day to 90ºF, 80% humidity and sunshine.  This was a nice change, for sure!

The houses were all so different, too.  We noticed right away that they all were built up high on supports;  we learned that this allows for better air flow in the house...  as does the fact of walls not being built all the way up to the ceiling.  This of course, allows for the easy mobility of gekkos from one room to the next, for air movement in the house, and for all sounds to be heard throughout the house.  Every night Kristin and I rehashed our day, often with laughter (we were also a little slap happy since we were so tired!), and then did our Bible reading and prayer together.  Afeefa's aunt mentioned that she enjoyed hearing us each night.  We tend to want to be so private in our culture, but you know, it isn't all bad to have that taken away once in a while.  It forces you to think before you speak, something we all need to work at.  Another notable difference about the houses is that the roofs are made of sheet metal.  When it rained in Guyana (and it did a fair amount, as we were there at the start of their rainy season), it was so loud!  It reminded me of when I was a young girl out in our chicken coop when it would rain on the metal roof;  I really like the sound, and found it to be a soothing part of our trip.  My father-in-law has always said how much he loves to sleep when the rain is hitting the roof;  well, the roofs in Guyana are sure good for that! 

Another aspect of Guyana that made us feel so far removed from all that was familiar was the language.  Now, many of you know that the official language of Guyana is English.  In fact, it is the only English-speaking country in all of South America.  That was one of the things that gave us comfort about going to Guyana---"at least we'll know the language," we told ourselves.  Well, we were perplexed when we couldn't understand anything people were saying!  Afeefa's parents and relatives did a great job of speaking directly to us so that we could understand them, but as far as hearing people speak with each other, it was truly a foreign language.  I would have done better in any one of the Spanish-speaking South American countries!  Anyway, as it turns out, English is indeed the official language, but everyone speaks creolese.  Being somewhat of a linguist, I started to pick up on some of the inflections, such as adding an "uh" sound to the end of words when a response from someone was expected.  One night, Kristin had taken Afeefa's Aunt Shaleeza's seat when she left the room.  Upon her return, Kristin politely asked her, "Would you like your seat back?"  She had to repeat herself many times because Shaleeza was clearly not understanding her.  Then, when Kristin restated it, "Would you like your seat backuh?"  She totally understood.  Language is a funny thing.  It dawned on me, then, that Afeefa was probably dealing with the new language, too.  She had become very accustomed to our American English, and I'm sure the change in language was significant for her as it was for us.

When we were out and about in Guyana, Kristin and I were truly the minority.  We didn't see another fair-skinned, blonde-haired person the whole time we were there. But, strangely, we didn't feel uncomfortable at all.  Afeefa's family was truly warm and hospitable and they made us feel very at ease.  We felt so blessed to be welcomed into their home and to share in their lives directly.  It occurred to me while we were there that our mutual love for Afeefa really gave us a bond even before we met Afeefa's family, so it seemed natural and good to be with them.  Even though we were worlds apart with regard to our culture, surroundings, weather,  faith, food, homes, language, etc...there was a sense of genuine mutual concern and friendship toward one another.  We sensed God's presence and peace the whole time we were there, and we feel like we have truly been blessed by the relationships we were given in Afeefa's family. 

A few pictures for you to enjoy:

Afeefa's house in Corriverton.  Afeefa and her parents live in the bottom, and her Grandma, and uncles and aunts live upstairs.  We stayed upstairs, too.

This is a view looking out of our house.  You can see the black water tank that supplies rain water to all of the houses.  You can also see the sheet metal roofs.

Here I am with Afsana, Afeefa's mom, and Afeefa, of course.  We enjoyed each others' company.

Kristin, me and Afsana by the Corrantine River.  The country of Suriname is on the other side of the river.

Afsana, Afeefa's paternal grandma, who we all called "Mami," and me.  Here, we're enjoying some fresh, cold coconut water.

Not What We Expected----Guyana Part 2

In the days anticipating our trip to Guyana, and on the plane rides, too, I kept imagining what it would be like to share in the reunion of Afeefa with her family.  For myself, I was already grieving the "goodbye" that was soon to happen.  I had watched my kids say goodbye to Afeefa the morning we left, and seeing their tears and their grief definitely triggered the sadness in me, too.  But, I was also feeling a sense of quiet peace and joy, especially when I thought about Afeefa's mom, and the long-awaited reunion that we were about to witness.  I imagined arriving at the airport to Afeefa's family, jubilantly waiting for us. I imagined tears of joy freely flowing, and Afeefa somehow recognizing her mom and happily leaving my arms, and going into the arms of her own dear mother.

(This is a picture Kristin took right before we entered the airport)

Kristin and I had talked about our arrival, and while I had "fanciful" visions of what it could be, I also was keenly aware of how attached Afeefa was to me, so I wasn't sure how things would go.  Nonetheless, we prepared for a great reunion.  Kristin had the camera ready and we hoped to capture the moment on film.
But before the reunion could take place, we had to go through customs and get all of our luggage---which was a lot because we had all of Afeefa's clothes and toys and things for her therapy.  While standing in the customs line, I suddenly realized that I wasn't sure which line to stand in because I had a US passport, but Afeefa's was a Guyanese one.  Just as I began puzzling over which line I should be in, a security guard approached me and Kristin. ( I guess two tall, blonde women with a Guyanese child in tow looked a little suspicious.)  He began to ask all sorts of questions:  "Is this your baby?  Why do you have her?  Where are you going with this baby? How long have you had her?   Does her family know you? etc... Do you know the address to where you are going?"  I could answer all of those questions, but the last.  I didn't bother taking Afeefa's home address with me since I knew her family would be meeting us there.  Apparently my lack of ability to answer that question, however, caused the guard to need to take me and Afeefa out of the customs line, leaving Kristin on her own.

He escorted us out of the airport and said, "Do you see the child's mother?"  No, I didn't see her.  I didn't even really know what she looked like.  After looking around for a minute or two, however, I saw Afeefa's mom come running toward us----yes, this had to be Afeefa's mom.  She seemed excited, but not emotional the way we Americans would be at such a moment.  And Afeefa's response to her and the whole situation was one of fear and not knowing what was happening.  I tried to hand her off to Afeefa's mom, but she held tightly to me.  This was not how I had hoped for this special reunion to take place.  Furthermore, we didn't even get "the moment" on film.  The officer took Afeefa's mom, me and Afeefa back to where our luggage was, and shortly thereafter we were reunited with Kristin (who made it through the customs line on her own with no issues).

Kristin, Afsana (Afeefa's mom), Me and Afeefa, and Abdul (Afeefa's dad)

After gathering our things, we were greeted by an entourage of Afeefa's family members and friends. We gathered together for pictures in front of the airport, and then were on our way to Corriverton, Afeefa's hometown.  Kristin and I were "in the zone," as we hadn't slept in 20-some hours, and the shock from the cold to the sweltering heat, the different language (we expected to hear English, as English is the official language of Guyana, but everyone speaks creolese--very interesting from a linguistic standpoint, but when you're half asleep, somewhat challenging.), and just the whole surreal feeling of the day, made for a long car ride.  I also kept wanting Afeefa to go to her mom or grandma, and they would attempt to hold her, but she just needed me.  Afeefa's mom handled all of this so well----she understood Afeefa's attachment to me and was so good about all of it.  For me, all of it was just a bit overwhelming.  I had mentally prepared myself to stop being the mom the moment we met Afeefa's family, but it was clear that Afeefa needed me to still be her mom for a few more hours before that transition could happen.  And frankly, as much as I felt ready to step back, it was not easy to do. 

I think Kristin was able to enjoy---or at least take in the Guyanese landscape on our ride, but I truly don't remember seeing any of it.  The only thing I have a clear recollection of is the quaint little fruit stand where we stopped and enjoyed our first "real" bananas and coconut water.  Other than that, I was consumed for the whole ride with Afeefa---holding her and contemplating the reality that this was the end of being her "mom."  Several hours after leaving the airport in Georgetown, we arrived---Afeefa was home at last.

Enveloped In God's Promises: Trip to Guyana Part 1

Kristin and I returned home from Guyana late last night.  There is far more to share about our trip than one post can hold.  There is so much to process and I want to relate things well and in a way that is an encouragement to all who read.  So, I decided to write a series of shorter blogs that focus on just one part of our trip.

Before we left for our trip, I was feeling very anxious about everything, and had a particular fear about leaving my family.  Traveling such long distances always prompts questions of life and death----what if the plane crashes?  will the kids be ok?  will Glen be ok?  For whatever reason, I felt more unrest about leaving on this trip than I had on any previous trip.  Perhaps it was just the emotion surrounding the whole ordeal, knowing I would have to ultimately say "goodbye" to Afeefa, and also seeing my own family grieve when they said goodbye.

Wednesday morning before we left went quite quickly as the kids took their time to say goodbye, and I drove them school, then finished up with all that I needed to do here before I could leave.  Before I knew it, it was time to get going.  The very last thing I saw on my way out the door was a note from Joseph's kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Kloostra, that read, "We are working on this verse.  It is God's promise to Jacob AND to us also."  The verse written below it was Genesis 28:15,  "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land."  Wow!  It was the very antidote to the anxiety I was feeling;  a word of hope, a promise from God Himself that everything would be fine.  It was a promise that I grasped and treasured as we set off.

Throughout our flight, things went so smoothly.  Afeefa literally slept or played nicely for nearly the entire flight.  What an answer to prayer!  As we were approaching South America, I began to feel overwhelmed again by feelings of anxiety about my own family back home, about having to bring closure  to what had been a very precious time with Afeefa in our lives.  Then, an amazing thing happened.  I looked out the window of the plane, marveling at the mountains and rain forests below when I saw something unlike anything I've ever seen before.  It was a complete circle rainbow, and right in the center of the rainbow you could see the shadow of our plane.  I rubbed my eyes and did a double take, and sure enough, I really was seeing a circular rainbow with us in the center.  I had Kristin look out at it, too, partly to see if I was really just imagining it, and partly because I knew it wasn't my imagination and I wanted Kristin to see it, too.  We both knew and sensed it was a message to us from God, that He had us totally surrounded, enveloped, encircled;  that He was before us, behind us, beside us, and indeed, within us.  He was assuring us that His Word is true, and His promises are sure, and we would never be alone.  And I thought once again of His promise to me from Genesis:  "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land."

Here we are, back home, safe and sound.  And Afeefa is back in the loving arms of her own family.  But she was on that plane with us, too, and that rainbow also was encircling her.  I pray and believe "He will be with Afeefa and will watch over her wherever she goes, and He will bring her back to this land."  I'm holding on to that promise for her, knowing that next year she will probably need to find a way to come back for testing, and not knowing as of yet how that will happen.  But God does know, and His promises are sure.

My only regret, as I sit here writing this, is that we did not take a picture of that amazing sight so that you could all see it, too.  If any of you is a good artist and would like to attempt to draw it for us, let me know.  I'll give you a more detailed description and you can have fun with it.    :)  If you could just close your eyes, and see yourself, wherever you are, whatever you are going through, in the center of God's Word and in the center of that rainbow, know that His promises are true, and you are not alone.

Three More Days Until Afeefa Goes Home

Wow!  It's hard to believe that three days from now, Kristin VanWieren, Afeefa and I will be on an airplane en route to take Afeefa back to her family in Guyana, South America.  As a Spanish teacher, I've had thoughts of going to South America many times in my life, but I never imagined going to the only English-speaking country on the continent, nor did I imagine I would be going for the purpose of bringing a child that has felt very much like my own back to her home.  

This morning our church had a special time of prayer for the three of us.  A number of our dear friends who have supported, encouraged, and prayed for us these last four months were able to come, which made it extra special.  A lot of people said their final goodbyes to Afeefa this morning----some were much more emotional than I imagined.  It's clear that this precious child has captured many hearts besides our own!

I have begun to pack Afeefa's things and am thinking it will be an interesting adventure to get her and all of her things back home!  We have so many items for her therapy, books that the therapists gave us for her parents to read, some of Afeefa's favorite foods (to hopefully help the transition to go smoothly), and a number of toys and stuffed animals that people have given us along the way.  This weekend, I was particularly touched by a sweet little boy named Connor who gave Afeefa his Build-A-Bear Leopard because he knew that Afeefa could see the spots on him.   I have not ceased to be amazed at how many people are so touched by Afeefa and drawn to her.  

We are all feeling such a mix of emotions as Wednesday is fast approaching.  We're excited for Afeefa's family and for Afeefa that they will soon be reunited.  We are amazed at how far Afeefa has come since she first got here!  Dr. Ference and her therapists at her last check-up were truly amazed at the progress she has made;  her visual field in the weaker eye had even increased slightly.  She is able to see and reach for more unlighted objects, and can see facial expressions and respond to them.  It has been such a blessing to share this little piece of her life and to watch her improve so much!  I truly am eager for her parents to see her progress since she came!  But, we're also very sad.  We have come to love Afeefa as our own family.  Each of the kids has expressed their sadness about her leaving----I know there will be grieving on all of our parts.  But, God who called us to this task promises to provide for all of our needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus   (Philippians 4:19).  Thinking back on this whole experience, He provided donated diapers, lighted toys, days of respite, companions for the long trips to and from Detroit, and tons of prayer support through many of you who are reading this.  In His strength, we've sat up at night when Afeefa cried in discomfort after her surgeries and through illnesses and separation anxiety, in His strength, we've changed lots of diapers, given baths, prepared meals, administered medications, driven to Detroit even when we were tired, and done therapy every day.  None of this has been in our own strength---truly, Christ has done in and through us all that we cannot do ourselves.  And the biggest thing of all, and the thing I most feared I would not be able to do, is that He filled our hearts with a deep love for this precious child.  I remember the first night Afeefa was here, I sat with her crying in my arms and just prayed that Jesus would help me to feel His compassion and love for this child and that somehow I would be able to love her like my own.  Indeed, He not only answered that prayer for me, personally, but I've seen my husband and my kids overflow with love toward her, too.  And again, this is not a boasting in ourselves, but rather in Christ, who loves us and fills us and lives His life of love through us.  To Him be the glory!  

So, I am feeling like it is going to be hard to say "goodbye", but I know that God has  promised to meet all of our needs and to accomplish the task to which He called us. Certainly, letting go is also a part of that task, and I know He will do it for us.  I'm sure it will not be without tears and sadness, but I'm convinced that He'll be our Comforter, and that He'll turn our sadness into joy as we celebrate with Afeefa's family her safe return to them, and the miracle of healing and of sight with which He has gifted Afeefa.

Thanks to all of you who have faithfully prayed for CCM, Afeefa, her family, and ours over the last several months.  Please, continue to pray for us as we say our goodbyes, and as we travel.  We leave Wednesday afternoon, and Lord willing, will arrive in Guyana on Thursday morning.  Also, please continue to pray for Afeefa's family----that they may know "how high and deep and wide is the love of Christ" for them, and that their reunion with Afeefa will be sweet.  Pray also for a good transition for Afeefa, and that Kristin and I will be able to teach her family all that they need to know for her therapy.

A few more pictures, just for fun:

                                                     Glen & Afeefa playing the bongos

                                                         Afeefa and me after her bath

                                                        enjoying a beautiful Fall day

                                                     Dr. Ference and therapist Kevin

                                                   Kristin VanWieren and her daughter Sohpie

                                                        Rosemary, one of the volunteer therapists

                                                      One last visit to Beaumont Hospital

Marathon

A couple of shots from the Grand Rapids Marathon

"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus...." Those words from Hebrews have gone through my mind a thousand times on runs over the years, and they did once again during the Grand Rapids Marathon on October 17.

"Let us throw off everything that hinders" Physically, when you run, you don't want to wear more clothes than are necessary because they slow you down. It was interesting to start our run with temperatures in the low 40's-----everyone had long sleeves on at the start, but as the race went on, clothes were strewn all along the course. I kept my long-sleeved shirt on for about 2 1/2 miles, and then as the sweat was coming, I could feel the weight of the heavy cotton against my skin and decided it was time to get it off before it affected my performance. Spiritually, a lot of things can hinder our walk with God, but particularly, I think, those things that are excess---sometimes we take on too many things (who? me? None of you have known me to do that, have you?). It's not that those things are bad in and of themselves, but perhaps they detract from serving, and loving, and communing with God the way we were intended to. Even running can be something that hinders---so can facebook, sewing, reading, watching TV, skiing, working, you name it. As our pastor recently reminded us in a sermon, when God is not at the center of all we do, all that we do can become idolatrous and can hinder our walk (or our run!) with God. So, I threw off my shirt at 2 1/2 miles and considered what other things I might shed in my life for the betterment of my walk with God. 26.2 miles gives you a long time to think about such things.

"...and the sin that so easily entangles...." A lot of things hinder us, and then there is sin. Sin not only hinders us, but it traps us, immobilizes us in a very real sense. If I were tangled in a web of strings or ropes early on in my race, or at any point, I would be totally incapacitated to finish or to even advance from one mile to the next. I would need someone to come alongside me and cut the ropes to set me free from my tangled mess. That is exactly what Christ has done for us. We don't need to keep writhing in the grip of our sin when we have a Savior whose ultimate sacrifice "cut the ropes" for us---we are free to run!

"...and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." It's easy to say that at 3, 5, 10, 13, and even 15 miles in a marathon. For the first half of my marathon I literally felt like I was being carried along by God Himself. I was strong, focused, fast. At 13.1 miles I was on my pace to run a sub-4 hour marathon and to possibly qualify for Boston. But, perseverance....Hip pain, dehydration, depleted calories, sore legs, and ever intensifying hip pain. Now perseverance took on its real meaning. Suddenly, my goal shifted from wanting to qualify for Boston, to simply wanting to finish the race. In my marathon, and in my life, perseverance requires a new kind of focus. It requires prayer. It requires a deep inner strength that only comes from Christ in us. When an unexpected hill (mine around mile 12 felt more like a mountain!), an unexpected loss or pain of some sort enters our life, we are called to persevere. Thankfully, I have a husband who was perceptive enough to realize that I was beginning to feel like giving up. So, he came alongside me (not even wearing running shoes, not even having run in AGES), and ran from mile 15 to 20 with me. He didn't say much, just ran beside me, and occasionally told me I was doing such a good job and he was proud of me. From miles 20-26, another good friend, Jamie, ran alongside me. The first thing she did when we started running was to pray with me, for me. That's what we need in our life race, too. We need the support of our brothers and sisters in Christ to help us persevere, to encourage us to just keep going, to pray for us and with us, to just simply be with us. My kids were the best fans on the whole marathon course----they made posters with Bible verses and encouraging words and cheered like nobody else every time they saw me. That, too, helped me to persevere. How could I not keep running when my daughters sign read: "God got you this far, Mommy, you can do it!" And those are wise words for all of us----God has carried us this far in our walk with Him, let us persevere, even if the road is long and it feels all uphill.

"...keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith." The real goal of any person who runs a marathon is to finish. Every person who finishes a marathon is adorned with a medal (nice big, heavy one in my case), and greeted with hugs, cheers, and a spread of food like you've never seen. Whether you're the first to finish, or the very last, you still get the same reward. So it is in our walk with Jesus. He is our goal. He is our purpose. We journey through this life to make Him look good, in the hopes of one day being with Him. My goal is not to be the first to be with Jesus, but to simply, when this life is over, be with Him and to share in the joy of His Kingdom with all of my brothers and sisters in Christ. We will share in the celebrating together, whether we finished strong, or hobbling along. If I had taken my mind off of my goal at any point during my marathon training or during the race, I certainly would not have finished. If I quit setting my mind on Christ, if I don't seek Him daily receive HIM as my goal, my purpose, my treasure,my Savior, my meaning in life, I will, when this life is over, stop short of the finish line, and I will lose the most important race of my life.

The verses preceding the one I've been thinking about here say, "Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off....." As I approached the finish line of the marathon, for the last 3/10 of mile the street was crammed with people cheering for every runner. Many of the people cheering were runners who had already finished their race. In this verse, the great cloud of witnesses, refers to the saints who have gone before us, who have already finished their life race, and who are urging us to persevere in our walk with God and to keep our eyes on Christ . For me, it was particularly meaningful that my kids ran along with me that final quarter of a mile, and that when I crossed the finish line, they were with me. I imagine my grandparents, great grandparents, and their grandparents, etc... all standing in that cloud of witnesses encouraging me on, and I'm sure they are hoping I will leave the same legacy to my children that they have left to me. I want to finish the race well, but I also really do want my children, all of my loved ones and friends to cross the finish line, too. My prayer is that all of you who are even taking the time to read this will fix your eyes, your heart, and your mind on Jesus, that you'll give Him your life, trust Him to save you from your sin and fill your life with purpose and meaning. I pray that those of you who are not yet running the race of the Christian life will join me, and that one day, we may celebrate at the finish together.

So, did I qualify for Boston? No. Did I break 4 hours? Not even. Did I win (as Joseph truly believed I would!)? Absolutely. And it was all by God's grace, and for His glory--- as is the race of my life.

Afeefa Update---Preparing to Go Home

It has been a while since I've updated our blog, and SO much has happened that I might have to update in a couple of entries.

Many of you have been asking for updates on Afeefa, so I'll start with her. We are so incredibly thankful for how God continues to work all things for His glory and how He continues to care for Afeefa and for us. We have seen this throughout Afeefa's time here, but most recently in the provision of a respite family, the Trumbulls. We weren't necessarily feeling the need for a break, but we were given a week without Afeefa while she stayed at the Trumbulls, and it really turned out to be a time of blessing and refreshing for our family. Not only that, we feel like God has given us new friends in in the Trumbull family, and we feel truly blessed.

As many of you know, Dr. Trese saw Afeefa for one last time on October 5.

I want to add here, that I continue to be amazed that Children's Circle Mission was able to find the doctors and team of therapists that they have found for Afeefa. Most of you are not aware that at almost every single visit we had to Dr. Trese, he was being trailed by other doctors from all over the world who had come to learn from him. At each visit I also met people who had come from New York, Alabama, Ohio, Georgia----all of them saying the same, that he is truly the best. I recently did a google search and saw rave reviews of him from people from literally all around the world. Afeefa could not possibly have had better care than Dr Trese has been able to give her. I asked Lita (from CCM) how she even found him, and she pretty much just said it was God's leading. So, we just give Him thanks that Afeefa has had such good care. In addition, the optometrist who tested and fitted Afeefa for her glasses is one of the only people at least in this part of the country who specializes in care for low vision infants. And her therapists there are also top notch. So, I just want to share this because as our time with Afeefa comes to a close, it's just good to reflect on all of the amazing pieces on this journey, and the team of doctors and therapists has certainly been a big part of it all.

With that said, at Afeefa's last appointment with Dr. Trese, he was amazed at her progress and encouraged us to arrange for her return home and to encourage her family to find an ophthalmologist in Guyana who could carry on with her long-term care. He is very confident that he has done all he can, and that Afeefa is ready for this next step in her journey.

In preparing for her return home, again I just see how God is providing for her. One of the biggest long-term needs she has are for regular testing for glaucoma, as she is at a high risk for this disease; Afeefa's mom informed me on Friday that she was able to connect with a doctor in Georgetown, Guyana who is able and willing to do these tests. We are so thankful that she has made this connection and that Afeefa will have someone to keep an eye on her over the next years. Dr. Trese has also offered to be available should they ever have questions or need guidance, so it seems that things are in place for a good future for Afeefa.

Her second big long-term need is for continuing therapy. We had hoped there would be some way for Afeefa's mom to come here and learn everything, but that is just such a complicated thing because of how strict the US is regarding visas. So, at a meeting we had with CCM, they agreed that the best thing for Afeefa would be for me to bring her back to her mom and to spend a couple of days teaching her all that I have learned. Kevin, one of Afeefa's therapists, had explained to us that Afeefa's surgery is what gave her the potential for sight, and that the therapy that is done over the next 3-5 years will ultimately determine how much sight she gains. So, the therapy piece is crucial for her mom to learn. My neighbor Nadean has graciously offered to help me produce a teaching DVD, as well----if you ever need anyone to make videos for you, let me know and I'll connect you to her (this is her business). Also, I was able to coordinate a meeting with two retired vision therapists who have specialized for 30 years with low vision infants and children; they will meet us at Afeefa's final check-up with the therapist in Detroit, and have agreed to be video-taped for the teaching DVD. I feel like God is pulling all of the pieces together for Afeefa to have long-term success.

Not only that, we just see her improving with her eyes all of the time. She can focus longer on things for therapy, she keeps her head up almost all the time, keeps her glasses on more of the time than not----all of these are the signs the doctors have told us to look for as indication of improved vision. She also likes to play peek-a-boo, which is a pretty significant development, too. So, God is good. He is faithful 100%, and though we are very sad at the thought of Afeefa going home, we have peace and joy knowing that she will get good care and be reunited with her family.

I have a plane ticket to take Afeefa home on November 17, and to return on November 22. There are a lot of details that need to come together before this time, so please, keep us in your prayers. Lord willing, I will have four days to teach as much as I can to Afeefa's family, and to hopefully help Afeefa transition back to her family. As many of you have observed, Afeefa has become very attached to us---and we to her---so we would appreciate your prayers for her to bond and reconnect well with her own family. The nurses at our pediatrician's office shared with us that it's good that she is able to go back now, as reattachment to her own family would become more difficult the longer she stays (I know that this is true, but I think they mostly shared it to make me feel better about her leaving). So, we are all sad, but we rejoice at the success of this whole journey for Afeefa. The whole experience has taught us so much, and it has been a tremendous joy to care for her----money could never buy the joy that this has given us, and there aren't words to express it.

I'll attach of couple of recent pictures for your viewing enjoyment! Thanks for your continued prayers!

Afeefa Update, Ride for Refuge 2010, and Marathon Dreams

I thought some of you might like to see Afeefa "in action." Each day, part of her therapy involves encouraging her to reach for what she is seeing. When she first started, she would sometimes not reach at all, and when she did, she was way off and would miss the ball by several inches. You can see that she is progressing well! In fact, yesterday she had a final visit with Dr. Trese who did her surgery. He was very pleased with her progress, with her healing, as well as her ability to focus and track with a light. He believes that medically, she is ready to return home. No date has been set yet, but we do know that she is well enough to return to her family, and for that we praise God! I want to thank all of you who have been praying for Afeefa, her family, and ours during these months. Please, continue to pray for Afeefa as she will need to continue with her therapy for the next years; pray that her family will be able to learn all that they need to do to care for her, that they will find a good opthamologist in Guyana, and that they will have peace during the remainder of Afeefa's time here. Pray for strength for our family, too, and that I'll be able to do the therapy she needs each day.

Last Saturday, 5-6 months of work culminated in the Grand Rapids Ride for Refuge. We had a beautiful day---a little cold and windy, but no rain! An estimated 600 riders and 150-200 volunteers came together to make this year's ride a huge success. I have heard so many wonderful words of encouragement from many of you, and want you to know how much we appreciate it. We have truly been running on "fumes"---very few hours of sleep and countless details to work out; your kind words, and especially your participation, either by being there, or by sponsoring riders, has made our months of work worth it. Someone asked if we get paid to organize and direct the Ride for Refuge, so I'll answer here---no, we don't get paid---at least not in cash. Our payment was what we saw on Saturday---a community pulling together with one focus and aim, to glorify God and to share Christ's compassion with hurting people all around the world. No amount of money could give us what we have received in joy doing this. So, thanks to you all who were a part of the Ride in one way or another. To God be the glory!

Many of you are aware also of the seemingly insane undertaking oftraining for the Grand Rapids Marathon since May. In actuality, for all of you who think we are crazy, you need to know, that my running time has been my only alone time since the kids were born, and if I didn't do it, I would be insane. It gives me time to pray, to think, to enjoy the world around me, and to take care of my sometimes frail body. Anyway, I have a little paper I wrote in 4th grade about my dream to run the Boston Marathon (of course, at the time, I didn't know you had to qualify with a rediculously fast marathon time!), and for years I have wanted to try. After completing the Riverbank 25k in May, I decided this was the year to try. All of my training has gone well, and I have even felt that qualifying for Boston isn't a totally unrealistic goal----until I recently was injured because of switching into the wrong shoes and ended up not doing my last long run and taking 2 full weeks off of running. I have been very discouraged about it because it has been a huge time committment for me (many 4:30AM Saturdays and lonely, long miles!), my family, and the friends who have helped me to do this. Many of you have been praying that I'll still be able to do the marathon, and as of this morning, I think I'm still going to try (my new goal is just to finish). I was able to complete an 8-mile run with little pain on Sunday (thanks, Jamie, for running with me!), and early this morning, I was able to run 12 miles with no pain! I can only give God the praise for the healing I've experienced, and I think it's appropriate that I am not at my best right now training-wise, because if I am able to complete the marathon on October 17, there will be no doubt that it was by God's hand and grace and I won't be able to take any of the credit. I'll keep you posted as to how it goes.

I think this blog entry has gotten lengthy enough, and some of you probably won't even read the whole thing, so I'll end it here.

2009 Grand Rapids Ride Video

I couldn't figure out how to get this on my previous post, so if you'd like to see last year's ride slide show, here it is.

And don't forget, it isn't too late to sign up for this year's Ride, which is taking place this Saturday, October 2 at Byron Center Christian Middle School. You can sign up or sponsor a rider at www.rideforrefuge.org.

Ride for Refuge

Most of you are aware that Glen and I are the organizers of the Grand Rapids area Ride for Refuge. This Saturday, October 2, our months of planning will culminate with the actual bike ride taking place. We're anticipating more riders than last year (we had over 500 last year on a rainy Saturday), and hoping to raise $100,000 for ministries that serve the most vulnerable, exploited, and displaced people's of the world. The we have more than 60 ride teams signed up, and more than 20 different organizations participating----the funds for the ride will help disaster relief and world hunger around the globe, orphanages and refugees in several african countries, and homeless people right here in Grand Rapids, just to give you a sense of the scope of impact this year's ride could have.

It is not too late to sign up to ride, and it is certainly not too late to sponsor a rider if you haven't already done so. Go to http://www.rideforrefuge.org/ to sign up (you can join my team, or Rebecca, Micah, or Caleb's teams), or to give.

Please, keep the whole event in your prayers---that it will be more than a bike ride, that it will be meaningful for all those who participate, and that the funds raised will make a lasting impact across the globe for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Glasses!

(The kids think Afeefa looks like a rock star with her new glasses; I think she's just precious.)

Afeefa and I made the trek to Detroit once again today, this time for therapy and.... glasses!!! I'm so thankful that Grandma Lois could come with us today---she did a great job of entertaining Afeefa while I drove. Thanks, Grandma Lois! Afeefa continues to progress---some days more than others----and it is exciting to see how far she has come. She reached for a ball today, and also for a green and a blue M & M on her tray. Keep praying for complete healing, for patience and time for me to do the therapy with her each day, and for her family who must miss her so much. Yesterday in church it seemed like every song was about how God gives sight to the blind----I'll never hear those songs the same again after having spent these months with Afeefa. Our God is a God who heals!

A couple more pictures:

Afeefa is sitting and playing very well now, and she is getting very close to crawling!

Amazing Progress

There have been a lot of changes for Afeefa since I last posted. We are all VERY happy that she no longer has to sleep in the carseat and can now enjoy sleeping in the crib again. She is allowed to lay and roll around on the floor, and also does not have to wear patches anymore! Wonderful steps in the right directions!

On Monday of this week, Afeefa had an appointment in Detroit with a new eye doctor and two therapists. She was tested and fitted for glasses, which we will be getting next week. It was quite an amazing day for a lot of reasons. First, I couldn't find anyone to ride with me, so I decided to let Rebecca miss a day of school to come along. It was such a blessing to spend the day with her, and I know we both learned a lot about the miracle of sight---how intricately God has created the human eye, and also, that without the nerves to the brain, rods and cones all working, they eye can't do anything. We watched in amazement as Afeefa was tested; she responds to red and yellow lights, she is able to see black and white lines, and reached for lights and a light-up ball. Through the testing they did, the doctor was able to make a sort-of map of Afeefa's field of vision for each eye. They were all amazed, given her age and the fact that her retinopathy was stage 5, at how large her field of vision is. Dr. Ferens was very excited about her visual responses during the exam, and also about her potential for sight. We learned that the vision therapy is absolutely crucial to Afeefa's being able to really see. She will need to spend 2 hours a day for the next couple of years at least, to do therapy which will stimulate the brain in such a way that it learns to process all of the new visual input she is receiving. I left there feeling very overwhelmed by all of the information that was shared, the books that they gave me to read, and at the thought of how I will fit 2 more hours into my days. As I was praying about it yesterday, though, God reassured me that He doesn't call us to do things that He doesn't intend to equip us to do---so I'm trusting Him to enable me to do this. And, I'm trusting that He'll provide the best possible way for Afeefa's mom to learn all of the techniques she will need to continue this when Afeefa goes home. Today as I worked with Afeefa, I was just amazed that she is actually able to see at all---what a gift, and what a miracle! She very excitedly reached for the red lights I was using with her today, which is so cool to see! Her left eye is definitely her stronger eye, and she would really prefer to not have to do the exercises with the right one. But, hopefully, as she gets used to it, her right eye will get stronger and she'll not fight so much when I work with that eye.

A friend of ours was over yesterday who hadn't seen Afeefa since she first came here. He could hardly believe that she was the same child who had her eyes closed all the time and her head down. She is now sitting up and playing a lot, with her head up and her eyes wide opened and looking around the room. When she's not sitting, she's either rolling around the room or trying to crawl---I think she'll be crawling very soon. She laughs a lot, babbles a lot, and occassionally, she says "All done" after her eye drops. In one of the books I was reading from the doctor about children with retinopathy of prematurity, it described the developmental stages of these children in comparison to sighted children (did you know that babies learn 80% of what they learn through their sense of sight?). Typically, children like Afeefa experience a lot of prolonged delays. Afeefa, too, is somewhat delayed in some areas, but the therapist told me that she honestly couldn't believe how minimal her delays are compared to other children she has worked with over the course of her 30-year career. She was so hopeful and encouraging about all of the things that Afeefa will one day be able to do if she gets the proper care and therapy now and when she goes home. So, we will do our best while she's here, to hopefully give her a good start on this journey of seeing.

(Here are some pictures of Afeefa so you can see her wonderful progress. She's trying to crawl in the last one, and enjoying the ability to sit alone in the others).

Afeefa's Follow-Up With the Surgeon

(Afeefa's new look without patches!)

Thanks to all of you who prayed for a safe, good visit with Dr. Trese yesterday, and a HUGE thanks to Mary for coming along for the ride!

Dr. Trese was very pleased with Afeefa's progress, and he definitely confirmed that the changes we see in Afeefa's behavior are because she is able to see something. He said that the folds in the retinas are gradually opening up, and as they do, she has greater possibility for vision. He still believes that the best they can expect for her is ambulatory vision, which is FAR better than not seeing anything. But, I'm still trusting in the same Jesus who healed the blind over 2000 years ago to give her more healing than the doctors even expect. Dr. Trese said that if things look as good at her next appointment on October 5, she should be able to go home to her parents within 2-3 weeks after that.

A couple of nice changes for Afeefa: she only has to wear her patches when she sleeps, and the arm restraints as needed to avoid hitting her eyes when playing or while sleeping. She now only needs two different medicines for her eyes 4 times a day, as opposed to 3 different ones 4 times. So, we're definitely taking some little steps toward getting Afeefa home with her parents who love and miss her dearly.

Please, continue to pray with us for miraculous healing for Afeefa, for strength for our family as we care for her, and peace and patience for her family as they wait.

Afeefa Hope

It has been quite a while since I last posted anything, and several of you have been e-mailing me "complaining." Needless to say, life with 5 kids 10 and under has been busy, very challenging at times, exhausting, but GOOD. A friend asked me the other day if we had any regrets about hosting Afeefa, and without hesitation every member of our family would give a resounding "No Way!" We are so blessed to care for this precious little child of God. We love her as our own, and it has been such an honor to care for her.

Last night (when I should have been sleeping) I was thinking a lot about the last month and a half with Afeefa. I was amazed when I thought again about how many people are praying for her, her family and for us. I was also remembering with a smile on my face a conversation we had at the dinner table a couple of weeks ago. The kids were all wondering whether Afeefa has a middle name (we now know she does; Amatulla, which means servant of God in Arabic), then they proceeded to come up with middle names that they thought would be fitting. In the end, Joseph said that her middle name should be Hope because God has given her and her family new hope and because we Hope she will love Jesus and see not just with her eyes, but with her heart. We love her given name, but I can't help but think about Hope now every time I look at her. Then, last Sunday night we went to an outdoor worship service that our church's praise team was leading. Afeefa clapped and danced with all of the songs. One of the songs that has never touched me so deeply was one called "I Have a Hope." One of the lines in the song says, "He (Jesus) takes my darkness and He turns it into light." Those words hit me because we now know with certainty that Afeefa is AT LEAST seeing light----her world of darkness has been given the gift of light. What an amazing thing! And we are placing our hope in Christ to touch her eyes and allow her to see all of the beauties that this world has for her to behold. Please, join us in this prayer for her.

Today, some new signs of hope for Afeefa's vision: Caleb and Micah were sitting on the couch next to me while I held Afeefa. I looked at Afeefa and said, "Afeefa, look at me. Touch my face." She turned toward me and touched my face. I repeated this with her several times to make sure it wasn't my imagination, and she did it each time. Then, Micah said, "Afeefa, look at me! Touch my face!" She turned toward Micah and touched his face! Then, Caleb did it, and she did it again. I don't know about you, but this gives me hope for Afeefa's eyes---hope that perhaps she is already seeing more than just light. It was such a blessing to see her engage in this little game---something I know she wouldn't have done when she first came here.

Tuesday I take Afeefa to Detroit for another follow-up visit with Dr. Trese. Pray for safe travel and for a good appointment. Pray that he will be able to confirm what we see as good progress.

"Put your HOPE in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Saviour and my God." ~Psalm 42:5

Update on Afeefa's Latest Surgery

(Afeefa's new look as of her surgery yesterday. The kids think she's cool!)

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for Afeefa, her family and for us as we care for her. Yesterday Dr. Trese did surgery on her left eye. He felt that the surgery went well and he was able to do the best he could given the circumstances. He noted to us that her left eye was in worse shape than the first one they did; the retina had more folds in it, there was more accumulated cholesterol (pooled blood), and it was more deteriorated, in general. However, he was also surprised that there was better circulation in the left than the right eye, which bodes well for the healing process and overall eye health. I want to thank those of you who specifically prayed that Afeefa would be peaceful before and after her surgery. Considering that she had not eaten since 7PM the night before, I was amazed that she really wasn't fussy as we awaited her surgery----even when it was delayed by an hour. She slept for most of the ride to Detroit, then played, babbled and passed the time cheerfully until the anesthesiologist came to take her for surgery ( I have to thank Kathleen, who came with me, though, because she did a GREAT job of entertaining Afeefa when she was at the point of wanting to fuss & cry). After her surgery, she was very upset in the recovery room, but other than that, she had a peaceful evening, a good night's sleep, and a good day today. So, again, God has been so faithful in answering prayers.

I want to also share with you all that God has been teaching me through all of these long trips to Detroit that while this whole experience is centered on Afeefa, He has some other pretty amazing plans, too. Yesterday in the waiting room we met a mom from Alabama whose daughter, Sara, has already had 10 surgeries. Later, when we were waiting in our triage room, she and Sara came to visit us. She shared more of her story and the journey they have been on with their daughter, we were able to share how God has been at work in Afeefa's life, and then we were able to pray together. It was just a real blessing to be there, to be able to pray, not just for Afeefa, but for her sweet little Sara, too.

Well, I guess I better post this for now. Please, keep Afeefa in your prayers---and pray for Sara and her family, too, as they have a long journey ahead of them, as well.

A friend painted Afeefa's toe nails---all dolled up for her big day in Detroit, and the nurses and doctors thought it was precious. Hot pink is definitely her color!

The boys and Afeefa love buzzing their lips at each other!

You can see that she takes this game very seriously!

Afeefa's Follow-up Doctor Visit Today

I don't have a lot of time to write, but wanted to share that Afeefa had a very good follow-up visit today. Dr. Trese confirmed what in my heart I suspected, but was almost too afraid to say (in case I was wrong)---she is definitely seeing some light in the eye they worked on. Praise God for answered prayers! I hope that someday Afeefa and her family will know how many people have been praying for her and to know how deeply she/they are loved, not just by all of us who have prayed, but by our Heavenly Father. I think Afeefa's healing is a sign of His love for them.

So, to give you a better picture of things. When Afeefa arrived here, we noticed that she looked down most of the time. But a few days after her surgery, it became very obvious to me that she seemed to be keeping her head up more. Then, one day when we were at the dentist's office for my kids' appointments, she was clearly looking up at the ceiling (very bright lights). I sensed then that she had to be seeing something. Today, Dr. Trese asked me if I've seen any changes in her behavior, and when I shared this with him, he said that that is one of the huge indicators they look for to know that a baby is beginning to see. What's more, when he examined the eye, he could see some clear spots on the retina where light can definitely come through. Over time, the hope is that there will be more healing and greater vision. He believes she will be able to get around without the help of a cane in the future, which is so great to hear.

Please, continue to keep Afeefa in your prayers. Her next surgery is this Friday; I will update again afterwards.

One Surgery Down, One to Go!

Afeefa's first of two surgeries was yesterday morning. After her appointment earlier in the week, the doctor indicated that Afeefa's condition was as bad as it could get, and that until they got inside the eye, they wouldn't know what, if anything could be done for her. So, I began praying, and asking many people to pray for a miracle----that when Dr. Trese would do the surgery, he'd find the eye to be better than he imagined. And guess what? The first thing he said after her surgery was, "The eye was in a lot better condition than I expected. Her body had absorbed a lot of the blood behind the eye so I was able to do a very good dissection." The end result will show over time, but we are trusting that the work done yesterday will give her the best chance at being able to see some day. This morning the doctor indicated that it will be a process of months, and even years for the eye to develop, so there won't be a quick answer. But, praise God with us that He answered our specific prayer so perfectly.

During the evening, Afeefa cried a lot----I'm sure from the anesthesia and the pain. During the night, she woke a few times, but I think it's more from frustration at having her arms in braces (to avoid touching the eye) and not being able to put her pacifier back in. Right now, she is resting peacefully.

The days before her surgery, Afeefa enjoyed time at friends' pools---she loves the water. She seems to be adjusting well to our family and is quite happy, in general.

Thanks so much to all of you for your prayers, and to those of you who have brought a meals, watched our other kids, provided clothing and baby toys. I know Afeefa and her family are experiencing Jesus' love for them through you.

Below are some pictures from this week.

Playing in the jumperoo!

Bath time! Eating happily in the high chair

Joseph loving on Afeefa

Pool fun!

At home after her surgery. Afeefa needs these arm braces so she doesn't touch her eye.

Pictures of Afeefa, Answered Prayers & Dr. Appointment

Thought you'd all enjoy a better look at Afeefa. She is a beautiful little baby and we're honored to care for her.
The kids do a great job of getting Afeefa to laugh----it's so fun to hear baby giggles again!

This is Rebecca holding Afeefa---giving Mommy a little break!

This is Micah---he is in love with this precious little one and keeps calling her "God's special little girl."

I want to share with you all the amazing way that God answered specific prayers yesterday. During the night and for most of the day, Afeefa was really upset---lots of crying and refusing to eat. I was not stressed about it, but was beginning to be concerned because she wasn't taking in fluids. At one point during the afternoon, a friend of mine called and prayed with me on the phone, that Jesus would calm her and help her to eat. After I hung up the phone, the other kids were having a snack, so I got a cookie for Afeefa. She took it in her hand, and happily began eating----one after another, followed by some cheese, then some milk. Suddenly, she was a new little baby. For the rest of the day, she was all smiles and seemed to really enjoy herself. I really believe this was a direct answer to our prayers and it was nothing short of a miracle, for which I can only give credit to Jesus and His faithful love for Afeefa and us.

Today Lita Kharmai and I took Afeefa to see Dr. Trese for her pre-op. appointment. Afeefa cried some in the waiting room, and she really did not like the drops in her eyes, but for the most part, she seemed to handle everything pretty well, for which we're thankful. Dr. Trese said that both retinas are totally detached, so the surgery will be to reattach them. The success rate is hard to determine, but the very best scenario (which would only happen in extremely rare cases) would be that her vision ends up being good enough to read the top line of an eye examination chart. What he expects, however, is that she will be able to see objects (not what they are, but that they are there) and light and dark. This would be a huge improvement, as she is 100% blind in both eyes right now. It would enable her to get around and to function more easily. We are happy with this prognosis, but we also will be praying the very best for Afeefa, which would be nothing less than a miracle to give her sight beyond what the doctors even expect. We hope you'll join us in this prayer.

Afeefa is Here!

(above: Nan and Lita, who accompanied Afeefa from Guyana)

After a very long flight from Guyana (with over 3 hours of delays in Cinncinatti), Afeefa Ally arrived in Grand Rapids last night at 1:15 AM. Rebecca and I went to the airport to greet her. She was very tired from the long day, but it was so exciting to finally meet her. As you'll see in the pictures below, she is a very beautiful. She has been a bit fussy through the night and today, but I'm sure she's experiencing separation anxiety and feeling confused about where she is. Pray that she will get the sleep she needs and be able to eat well, too. It has been good to hear from her mom a couple of times; I think that connection will help this time to go better.

I can't write much right now, but keep us in your prayers as we go to Detroit tomorrow for her pre-op visit. And keep Afeefa's parents in your prayers, too, as they adjust to being so far away from their precious little one.

A Temporary New Addition to Our Family

It's been a while since I've written, and I don't have a lot of time now. I do want to share with you all, however, that a week from tonight (so, Sunday, the 11th of July), one-year-old Afeefa Ally will be arriving here from the South American country of Guyana to stay with our family. She is coming for surgery on her eyes, and we have the privilege of hosting her while she is here. If you'd like to see a photo of her and to learn more about Children's Circle Mission, the organization that is bringing her here, their website is www.ccmission.org.

We are all getting very excited to have Afeefa with us, and I almost feel like I'm in "nesting" mode, wanting to get everything set up and ready for her arrival. I have experienced a wide range of emotions, from fear, to excitement, to sadness at the reality that we may all become very attached to this little one who will not be with us forever. We would invite you all to pray for Afeefa and her parents; I cannot imagine how difficult it will be for them to put her on a plane next weekend and to not see their precious little one for 3 months (if all goes well, and more if there are complications). Pray for God's peace to overwhelm them and to sustain them. Also, pray for little Afeefa as she adjusts to our family and her new surroundings. Pray for a successful surgery, which is tentatively scheduled for the 16th of July. And pray for our family, too, as we adjust to having a baby in our home once again.

We will post pictures of Afeefa periodically during her time here. Her parents are hoping to follow our blog as a way to keep up, too, so we'll try to be faithful. Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement!