Going Home and Thoughts About Love

Afeefa's time here is quickly coming to a close.  Last week we purchased plane tickets to take her home again.  Healing the Children doesn't usually allow host families to take the children back, but because of all of the new therapy and things that Afeefa has been learning that her family needs to keep up with, they have given permission for me to take her back.  I was feeling ok about traveling to Guyana alone this time, but as I lay in bed thinking about it the other night, I realized that I would feel so much better if someone else could come along with me.  I wasn't sure if HTC would approve of another person coming along, and the only person who seemed logical to me is Kristin VanWieren, who accompanied me last time, since she has all of the necessary shots and passport already.  I called HTC and got their permission late on Wednesday, but was told they needed a definite answer by Thursday morning in order to lock in at the fare we had.  So, I called Kristin just before she left for parent-teacher conferences, and having really only one night to work things out----discuss it with her family, get permission from her principal, clear her calendar and figure out child care----everything miraculously came together and she is able to accompany me and Afeefa on our return to Guyana.  We plan to leave on Wednesday, February 29-----only 9 short days away.

This time with Afeefa has been very special.  We've seen marked progress in her use of her eyes as well as her mobility.  We've enjoyed her sweet little voice, her hugs, her laughter, and her affection for each one of us---especially for the kids.  Some of the things we've particularly enjoyed:

*  when she sings along with songs at bedtime----it's amazing how many of them she has memorized!
*  when she tastes a new food and says "Tastes like beef" and everyone laughs!
*  every time Glen prays at meal times, at the  end of the prayer Afeefa says, "Good job!!!"
*  each time we get in our van to go somewhere, she says "We ride in the Mama Bus!"

We've been so blessed by this precious little one.  Though it is a lot of work, we feel so blessed to be able to welcome and love Afeefa as our own.  Yesterday our sermon in church was about love.  All week long we had read chapters about love, and our Sunday service culminated with a sermon tying them all together.  I was remembering the very first time Afeefa came, the very first night, when Afeefa was handed to me and entrusted to our care.  I sat rocking this crying child that I didn't know, feeling overwhelmed and totally inadequate, and I prayed, "Lord, please, help me to love this little one.  She is so sad, so homesick, and she needs a mama to love her, but I don't feel like I can love her that way.  Please, help me to love her with your love."  Over time, God grew His love in my heart to enable me to love Afeefa like one of my own children.  And He not only enabled me to love her, but also Glen and the kids----they've loved her so well, too.  So, I was thinking about love during our sermon yesterday, and particularly about loving Afeefa.  We learned that to say "I love you" is to say "I want to serve you."  I love that definition of love.  It has been hard work to love and serve Afeefa and her family, but because of the love Christ has for us, and for His Spirit in our hearts, we are able to love that way.  I know for sure that in my own sinful, selfish nature, I have no capacity for this sort of serving love, but God has given us a tangible task to teach us to love, and we are so grateful for all that He's taught us through Afeefa and her family in our lives.  Our prayer for them is that when they see our love for Afeefa, they will know it is but a mere reflection of the incomprehensible, MASSIVE love that God has for us and them in Christ Jesus.

Thoughts About Winter, or the Lack Thereof, and "Sweetie"

I am convinced that the unseasonably warm weather of January and the first part of this month has been God's gracious gift to Afeefa.  Even though from the day she arrived here, Afeefa has asked to see pretty snow, I truly believe God knew it would be best to send some milder temps for this hot-climate child to adapt better.  AND, all of our trips to Detroit are finished, and each time, we had sunshine and perfectly clear roads for travel.  I do not think it is a coincidence that the day after our last trip, which was last Thursday, a snow storm came.  Had we been traveling on Friday, it would have made for a miserably long trip.  So, again, I just marvel when I see God's loving care and provision.

And, how wonderful, too, that Afeefa has gotten to "see some pretty snow."  She has gone sledding on our little hill with Rebecca.  She wasn't too sure what to think of it at first, but in the end, was asking for more rides, until the cold got to her.  Her favorite thing, though, is to be outside when it is snowing hard and to catch the snowflakes in her mouth.  Now, whenever we step outside, she opens her mouth, says "Open wide, eat some snow."

This week we began work in our home with a therapist who specializes in mobility and orientation for the visually impaired.  This wonderful woman, Ann, is a retired vision therapist who used to work for GR public schools.  She has graciously offered her time to help Afeefa learn to walk with her special cane, which she tenderly refers to as "Sweetie."  I'm excited about the progress Afeefa is making as she is  learning to navigate better and gain some confidence as she moves about.  It was so exciting to see her walk all the way from our living room to her bedroom, and then to our kitchen with little assistance.  It's hard to believe that she has gone from total blindness to now being able to navigate her way around somewhat independently.  Pray that she'll continue to make good progress, both with mobility and using her eyes in every day tasks.


Thanks to those of you who have donated money to support her medical care and travel expenses.  If you are able to help, you can still donate at any time, just be sure to write "for Afeefa Ally" on the memo line of your check to:

Healing The Children/Michigan-Ohio Chapter
2140 44th St. SE  Ste. 204
Grand Rapids, Mi 49508

Also, we want to thank  all of you who have kept Afeefa, her family, and ours in your prayers.  God is faithful, and we are blessed!


Some recent Afeefa quotes to make you smile:
After tasting any new food, her favorite thing to say is "Tastes like beef."

Afeefa thoroughly enjoys watching the boys' basketball games and cheering for them.  Some of the things she's heard at games have been repeated at various times during any given day:
        *in the bathtub when I wash her quickly, "Good hustle!"
        *to Micah at breakfast, "Shake it off, Micah" (she heard this when he got hurt in a game)
        * at the boys game, she cheers for their team, "Go Hawks!!!" and then the next moment echoes a cheer from parents of the other team with equal enthusiasm, "Go Bucks!!!!"

And, a couple of pictures, too......

                    Looking at blocks and learning to build towers

                                               

                    Some fun in the pretty snow!!!!

 Here, Afeefa and Micah are watching "Baby Einstein"----her favorite.  With my other kids, TV watching was always frowned upon, but  for Afeefa, it's legitimate and good vision therapy!

         Afeefa's first walk around the house using "Sweetie."

How Can I Not Love This Child?

Our time with Afeefa is so busy-----diaper changes, sleepless nights, snotty noses, slooooowwww meal times, therapy, therapy, long trips to Detroit, occasional 2-year-old melt-downs, more therapy, and more sleepless nights.  Sounds pretty horrible, I know----but I wouldn't trade it for the world!  All day long I think to myself, "How can I not love this child?"  When she says out of the blue, "Mama Kori, you are sooooo special," how can I not love her?  When the kids get her laughing so hard that we're all in tears with laughter, I can't help but love her.  When she accomplishes a new task in therapy with so much excitement and raises her arms and says "I'm the champion!"  I have to just love her.  In the quiet moments of singing songs, and when she joins in, singing in her tiny, sweet voice, my heart is warmed, and I am compelled to love her.  It is such an honor to have Afeefa in our home;  it is hard work, for sure.  But just like raising our own children, joy abounds in and through it all.  And I stand amazed at the things I know Afeefa sees when I think back to when we first met her and she had absolutely no vision.  God has been so faithful and so good.

Yesterday we went to Detroit and Afeefa received her long awaited new glasses with elation!  She was so excited to get them.  She ordered pink ones this time;  and yellow ones for her sunglasses.  Both colors really are appropriate for such a cheerful child who truly brings a ray of sunshine wherever she goes.

Last week we had 3 appointments all one long day.  The long and short of her progress is that there has been tremendous healing and significant functional visual improvement in one eye, but not so much in the other.  For that reason, her surgeon really wants to see her back in 9 months.  Some of you have received a FB invitation to sponsor Afeefa, some of you have received a personal note, and some of you are reading this for the first time.  Either way, would you consider giving a financial gift to Healing the Children, with the gift designated for Afeefa Ally?  Because of the on-going nature of the care she needs, it would be great if we could raise some funds so that there aren't excessive HTC resources going to one child and they continue to do the good work they are doing with other children, too.  If you'd be willing to help out, you can make a check to Healing the Children, and you can send it directly to them. Just be sure to designate on the memo that it is for Afeefa Ally.  Here's the pertinent information:

Healing The Children/Michigan-Ohio Chapter
2140 44th St.  SE  Ste. 204
Grand Rapids, Mi 49508

Some More Great Afeefa Quotes for Your Enjoyment
*While sitting at the dinner table, out of the blue:  "I'm telling you, I am discombobulated!" ( a favorite word of hers that the kids taught her)

*Also at the dinner table, commenting on the meal, "This is NOT good!"

*Every time she brings something new up to her eyes to see:  "WOW!!!!"

* She affectionately calls our van the "Mama Bus," and loves to go for rides.

Below are some pictures we thought you'd enjoy:

 Afeefa LOVES playing with the kids!

NEW GLASSES!!!

Here, Afeefa is using her eyes to look at blocks with her new glasses!  This is a big milestone for her!

Afeefa Returns

We decided it might be a good idea to update our blog once again, for those who are praying and interested in knowing how Afeefa is doing.  After much planning, and the amazing ways that God provides, she arrived on this past Monday night, thanks to the work and coordination of Healing the Children, and a very kind airline ambassador escort named Masako, who accompanied her on her multi-stop flight here.

Needless to say, we were all very excited to see her again, as it had been over a year since we brought her home.  I was surprised at the many mixed emotions I felt in anticipation of her arrival-----at moments I was simply excited, also a bit nervous, saddened at the thought of her family having to place her in the arms of someone they didn't know and not knowing for how long....  But, God is so faithful.  He gave Afeefa's family the strength and courage to let her go once again, and daily, He is giving our family the love and strength we need to care for this precious little one.

Next week she has a number of doctor visits, and we are eager to hear what their assessment is of her vision and her healing.

Please, keep her in your prayers as she adjusts to the many changes of being here, and pray for her family who misses her so much.  Also, please  pray for good rest, and the ability to balance everything, while giving her the love and best care that we can.

Thanks!

Some Afeefa Quotes to Make You Smile
"I want to see some beautiful snow"  (repeated to us at least 50 times in the last couple of days----bring on the snow, I say!)

Glen asks Afeefa what she thinks of Mama Kori's ravioli at dinner, and she says---in a very sweet voice, of course---"This is no good!"

The kids are having fun making Afeefa repeat after them.  Our favorite word so far that she says perfectly well:  "Discombobulate"

When a friend brought over fresh baked biscuits, Afeefa took a bite, smiled and said, "This is warm and nice."

When the boys got on the bus the first two mornings, Afeefa cried and said " I want on bus with the boys."
(Today, we went all the way to the bus stop, took a peak into the bus, and no more tears)

My favorite quote of all, which followed lots of crying for home, and came from out of the blue:  "I love you, Mama Kori."  Just what I needed to get through the day.

Ride for Refuge 2011

I haven't posted anything on our blog in a very long time, not because life has gotten dull, but because it has been busy and I haven't felt like I can take the time to just write.  The last few months have been spent preparing once again for the Ride for Refuge.

This year, we had somewhere around 500 riders and raised over $70,000 (we won't get final numbers on any of this until later, and people can still give for a couple of weeks, so the dollar amount will definitely be going up.).  Getting volunteers seemed a little more challenging this year, but God never ceases to amaze me with His provision.  At 4:45 AM on Saturday, people we didn't even know showed up in our garage to help put up ride route signs because they had heard we were short-handed.  Think of that!  Getting up that early on a Saturday morning to lend a helping hand!  On Friday evening the trailer that was loaded with all of the water (2,000 bottles) and gatorade (1500 bottles) broke down, so volunteers loaded up their mini-vans to bring it all to school.  We had planned to just have Randy VanDyke (who owned the trailer) dropped the beverages at the aid stations on Saturday morning, but with his trailer broken, we had to scramble to figure out how to do it.  It turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because we were able to load all of the aid station supplies onto the mini vans, so instead of one person having to drop off at every aid station, the work was divided and much less stressful for everyone.   On Ride day, I was blessed to be able to actually ride my bike for the first time since we started directing this event, thanks to Kristin VanWieren who stepped in and took over my job of sending the riders out.  It was so fun to see the Ride "in action" and to see all of the bikes taking over the streets of Byron Center!

Today, Glen and I are both overly tired and fighting colds, but we are so blessed and humbled to have been used again with this year's ride.  And when we think of the impact that the Ride will have on the lives of Africans, Asians, South Americans, etc..and refugees and vulnerable people right here in our own country, we feel a deep sense of gratitude for having the privilege of making this event happen.  We are praying that if someone else should take over directing the Ride, that God will provide the people, but we are also willing to keep serving in this way as long as we feel called.  God has always been faithful in providing for every single detail to make this happen, and it is really HIS ride, and we give HIM all the glory.

When we have a video of the Ride, we will post it.

Worlds Apart, but Not Really ----Guyana part 3

When we first arrived in Corriverton, the village where Afeefa and her family live, I felt like I was in a daze.  First of all, Kristin and I had been awake for about 25 hours, so we were tired, and besides that, Guyana is so completely unique from anything we've ever experienced, that everything felt surreal.  I was having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that our time of caring for Afeefa was over-----where did the months go so quickly?  I thought about the surgeries, the eye patches, eye drops, arm restraints, long nights up with Afeefa, and somehow it all seemed like a lifetime away.  Even giving her breakfast and lunch in our high chair in our kitchen here before we left on Wednesday seemed like something from another era.  We just felt so far removed from everything.


There were a lot of things that were so different.  I think the first, most obvious, was the temperature.  We arrived from a cold, Fall Michigan day to 90ºF, 80% humidity and sunshine.  This was a nice change, for sure!

The houses were all so different, too.  We noticed right away that they all were built up high on supports;  we learned that this allows for better air flow in the house...  as does the fact of walls not being built all the way up to the ceiling.  This of course, allows for the easy mobility of gekkos from one room to the next, for air movement in the house, and for all sounds to be heard throughout the house.  Every night Kristin and I rehashed our day, often with laughter (we were also a little slap happy since we were so tired!), and then did our Bible reading and prayer together.  Afeefa's aunt mentioned that she enjoyed hearing us each night.  We tend to want to be so private in our culture, but you know, it isn't all bad to have that taken away once in a while.  It forces you to think before you speak, something we all need to work at.  Another notable difference about the houses is that the roofs are made of sheet metal.  When it rained in Guyana (and it did a fair amount, as we were there at the start of their rainy season), it was so loud!  It reminded me of when I was a young girl out in our chicken coop when it would rain on the metal roof;  I really like the sound, and found it to be a soothing part of our trip.  My father-in-law has always said how much he loves to sleep when the rain is hitting the roof;  well, the roofs in Guyana are sure good for that! 

Another aspect of Guyana that made us feel so far removed from all that was familiar was the language.  Now, many of you know that the official language of Guyana is English.  In fact, it is the only English-speaking country in all of South America.  That was one of the things that gave us comfort about going to Guyana---"at least we'll know the language," we told ourselves.  Well, we were perplexed when we couldn't understand anything people were saying!  Afeefa's parents and relatives did a great job of speaking directly to us so that we could understand them, but as far as hearing people speak with each other, it was truly a foreign language.  I would have done better in any one of the Spanish-speaking South American countries!  Anyway, as it turns out, English is indeed the official language, but everyone speaks creolese.  Being somewhat of a linguist, I started to pick up on some of the inflections, such as adding an "uh" sound to the end of words when a response from someone was expected.  One night, Kristin had taken Afeefa's Aunt Shaleeza's seat when she left the room.  Upon her return, Kristin politely asked her, "Would you like your seat back?"  She had to repeat herself many times because Shaleeza was clearly not understanding her.  Then, when Kristin restated it, "Would you like your seat backuh?"  She totally understood.  Language is a funny thing.  It dawned on me, then, that Afeefa was probably dealing with the new language, too.  She had become very accustomed to our American English, and I'm sure the change in language was significant for her as it was for us.

When we were out and about in Guyana, Kristin and I were truly the minority.  We didn't see another fair-skinned, blonde-haired person the whole time we were there. But, strangely, we didn't feel uncomfortable at all.  Afeefa's family was truly warm and hospitable and they made us feel very at ease.  We felt so blessed to be welcomed into their home and to share in their lives directly.  It occurred to me while we were there that our mutual love for Afeefa really gave us a bond even before we met Afeefa's family, so it seemed natural and good to be with them.  Even though we were worlds apart with regard to our culture, surroundings, weather,  faith, food, homes, language, etc...there was a sense of genuine mutual concern and friendship toward one another.  We sensed God's presence and peace the whole time we were there, and we feel like we have truly been blessed by the relationships we were given in Afeefa's family. 

A few pictures for you to enjoy:

Afeefa's house in Corriverton.  Afeefa and her parents live in the bottom, and her Grandma, and uncles and aunts live upstairs.  We stayed upstairs, too.

This is a view looking out of our house.  You can see the black water tank that supplies rain water to all of the houses.  You can also see the sheet metal roofs.

Here I am with Afsana, Afeefa's mom, and Afeefa, of course.  We enjoyed each others' company.

Kristin, me and Afsana by the Corrantine River.  The country of Suriname is on the other side of the river.

Afsana, Afeefa's paternal grandma, who we all called "Mami," and me.  Here, we're enjoying some fresh, cold coconut water.

Not What We Expected----Guyana Part 2

In the days anticipating our trip to Guyana, and on the plane rides, too, I kept imagining what it would be like to share in the reunion of Afeefa with her family.  For myself, I was already grieving the "goodbye" that was soon to happen.  I had watched my kids say goodbye to Afeefa the morning we left, and seeing their tears and their grief definitely triggered the sadness in me, too.  But, I was also feeling a sense of quiet peace and joy, especially when I thought about Afeefa's mom, and the long-awaited reunion that we were about to witness.  I imagined arriving at the airport to Afeefa's family, jubilantly waiting for us. I imagined tears of joy freely flowing, and Afeefa somehow recognizing her mom and happily leaving my arms, and going into the arms of her own dear mother.

(This is a picture Kristin took right before we entered the airport)

Kristin and I had talked about our arrival, and while I had "fanciful" visions of what it could be, I also was keenly aware of how attached Afeefa was to me, so I wasn't sure how things would go.  Nonetheless, we prepared for a great reunion.  Kristin had the camera ready and we hoped to capture the moment on film.
But before the reunion could take place, we had to go through customs and get all of our luggage---which was a lot because we had all of Afeefa's clothes and toys and things for her therapy.  While standing in the customs line, I suddenly realized that I wasn't sure which line to stand in because I had a US passport, but Afeefa's was a Guyanese one.  Just as I began puzzling over which line I should be in, a security guard approached me and Kristin. ( I guess two tall, blonde women with a Guyanese child in tow looked a little suspicious.)  He began to ask all sorts of questions:  "Is this your baby?  Why do you have her?  Where are you going with this baby? How long have you had her?   Does her family know you? etc... Do you know the address to where you are going?"  I could answer all of those questions, but the last.  I didn't bother taking Afeefa's home address with me since I knew her family would be meeting us there.  Apparently my lack of ability to answer that question, however, caused the guard to need to take me and Afeefa out of the customs line, leaving Kristin on her own.

He escorted us out of the airport and said, "Do you see the child's mother?"  No, I didn't see her.  I didn't even really know what she looked like.  After looking around for a minute or two, however, I saw Afeefa's mom come running toward us----yes, this had to be Afeefa's mom.  She seemed excited, but not emotional the way we Americans would be at such a moment.  And Afeefa's response to her and the whole situation was one of fear and not knowing what was happening.  I tried to hand her off to Afeefa's mom, but she held tightly to me.  This was not how I had hoped for this special reunion to take place.  Furthermore, we didn't even get "the moment" on film.  The officer took Afeefa's mom, me and Afeefa back to where our luggage was, and shortly thereafter we were reunited with Kristin (who made it through the customs line on her own with no issues).

Kristin, Afsana (Afeefa's mom), Me and Afeefa, and Abdul (Afeefa's dad)

After gathering our things, we were greeted by an entourage of Afeefa's family members and friends. We gathered together for pictures in front of the airport, and then were on our way to Corriverton, Afeefa's hometown.  Kristin and I were "in the zone," as we hadn't slept in 20-some hours, and the shock from the cold to the sweltering heat, the different language (we expected to hear English, as English is the official language of Guyana, but everyone speaks creolese--very interesting from a linguistic standpoint, but when you're half asleep, somewhat challenging.), and just the whole surreal feeling of the day, made for a long car ride.  I also kept wanting Afeefa to go to her mom or grandma, and they would attempt to hold her, but she just needed me.  Afeefa's mom handled all of this so well----she understood Afeefa's attachment to me and was so good about all of it.  For me, all of it was just a bit overwhelming.  I had mentally prepared myself to stop being the mom the moment we met Afeefa's family, but it was clear that Afeefa needed me to still be her mom for a few more hours before that transition could happen.  And frankly, as much as I felt ready to step back, it was not easy to do. 

I think Kristin was able to enjoy---or at least take in the Guyanese landscape on our ride, but I truly don't remember seeing any of it.  The only thing I have a clear recollection of is the quaint little fruit stand where we stopped and enjoyed our first "real" bananas and coconut water.  Other than that, I was consumed for the whole ride with Afeefa---holding her and contemplating the reality that this was the end of being her "mom."  Several hours after leaving the airport in Georgetown, we arrived---Afeefa was home at last.